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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an immigrant. I think many Americans don’t realize that times have changed and they are removing the much needed leg up from underneath their kids by refusing to pass on wealth.
There are so many immigrants who don’t have weird hang ups about bootstraps and provide their kids with debt free education, childcare, and debt free or minimum debt housing. Their kids are going to get ahead in the long run. 
What many American parents are doing isn’t just stupid on the individual level but almost like treason or almost some state level crime. 
[/quote]

I too am an immigrant. My community sees a lot of people leapfrogging into wealthy SES because their ACs combine resources with them and they buy mansions in expensive neighborhoods and live in multigenerational households. They don’t have to worry about elder care or childcare. They have security of more than 1 or 2 paychecks coming into the house.

No one passes the wealth when they die. The wealth is shared when people are alive and the wealth can be utilized for present and future goals.  Americans are being ghouls that are wanting their parents to die by living frugally and give them the money. But, they have zero desire to live with parents, take care of parents or include their parents in their life.  The culture is such that there is no joy iN the parents to give anything to their children and vice versa. You cannot sow Acacia tree and expect mangoes. [/quote]

I see this too. I think the difference is seeing the family as the primary unit, instead of the individual. Which, when it comes to family wealth, is the only thing that makes sense. Look at everyone in this thread bickering over who should get that money and who deserves it and it's all a zero sum game. Imagine thinking of your immediate family that way, it makes no sense. If you view your family's success as, to some degree, your own, and vice versa, then you want to share your wealth because it benefits all of you.

What is the point in keeping all your money to yourself anyway? Wouldn't you rather share it with the people you love most in the world? My DH can't think of anyone we would rather spend money on than our DD, and by extension her spouse and children. If we spend it on a vacation, I want them to come. If we spend it on a house, it's to facilitate them visiting or with the knowledge we will leave the house to them. And so on. It's not selfless because I derive great joy in sharing with them. It makes me happy to see them happy. It is a joy to me to be able to use our money to help make their lives better.

People in this thread are talking about their immediate family like they are annoying coworkers. I do not understand.[/quote]
I feel the same way, and it's not just money. My family is all about extending help when needed. Between jobs? Here's a little something to tide you over while you focus. Not enough money to travel and meet us for the holiday - have my points, says sibling! When one of us fails, the fallout can drag us all down and make us worry about that person.

Having a feeling of security, knowing that there will be a cushion for a soft landing whether needed or not, allows us to make choices not solely driven by financial concern. [/quote]

So this attitude is usually 100% from the family members who are takers. The ones who needed “a little help” aka fund my vacation to travel or whatever. The givers are not pleased but until they learn to stand up to the takers, the takers will perceive it’s just utopia. [/quote]

Really? That may be the case, but not in all instances.[/quote]

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