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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]thanks for all the great opinions. I thought i would just invite her to look at my page (which is under a pseudonym so not easily found) so she can see photos. It's "public" so she does not have to "friend" me to see it - right?
 
[b]It was an "open" adoption and I happen to know she went to a very well-off family and had a privileged upbringing, had a brother, went to a gorgeous university, etc. Her parents were very loving and grateful and i can't imagine she really felt THAT rejected.[/b]
 
I was a poor, messed up teenager. Do adopted children understand this about their birthmothers? I was not drug addicted, I just could not offer her what a child deserves, and knew there were hundreds of families out there that could.
 
[b]Also, in my personal adoption file, I put "please don't contact" (it's a choice birthmothers have in open adoptions) and she did anyway so I don't feel that bad about that, either.[/b]
 
And thanks for the "wait til the weekend" advice- i'll do that.[/quote]

From your second post, it doesn't seem like you are very sensitive to this young woman's feelings.  If this is truly where you are coming from, it might be better not to contact her right now.  [/quote]

I agree.  You sound pretty self centered.  I have siblings who are adopted and know how much they struggled with the fact that out there somewhere was someone who gave them up.  They are loved and had a good upbringing with a good family but still they struggled and yes, they felt rejected by their birth parents.  So what if she went to a "gorgeous" university?  The woman tried to reach out to you which as a PP said, took a lot of courage.  You rejected her and now you want her to look at your family photos?   It makes me shudder to think of someone like you doing something like that to one of my siblings.  If you are ready to make it not be all about you, then yes, reach out.  But, understand that even though you "don't feel that bad about that" when you rejected her overture previously, what you did affected her-and probably not in a good way.  Look beyond yourself please.  This is a human being with feelings you are talking about.[/quote]

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