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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would 100% not do it through Facebook.  THat's just....well, awful.

she contacted your through a third party, which may have been her only avenue, but still it provided a measure of distance.  After turning her away once, I think you owe her the courtesy of not showing up in her inbox, but rather again a more formal, third party contact.  [/quote]

+1.
As an adoptee (adopted as an infant, now 30's) I would welcome contact with birth mom but NOT ON FACEBOOK.  (Even if I had a fb account) I would not friend her on social media.  Mostly for two reasons:
1.  I really do need to consider the feelings of my adoptive parents, the ones who spent the last 30 years raising me as their daughter.  I think it would crush them to have public evidence of a deepening relationship with a birth mom (ie, does she like/love her more than us? etc).  I would just be worried about the ramifications of making the relationship public.  Plus, then all of HER friends and family would know that I was her birth child.  Do I really want my birth aunts/uncles/cousins/etc contacting me?  Ummm, not really.
2.  I may be ambivalent about the extent of any relationship with birth mom.  Ie, meeting once or twice a year for dinner is different from "let's be fb friends and text each other and get manis together."  At least for some time (barring any medical issues or something) I would want to hold her at arm's length.  FB is not a good vehicle for that IMO.

I really would do it through an attorney or other disinterested third party OP.  GL[/quote]

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