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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think your attempt to contact your birth daughter through a third party is a good one.   I think you should include an apology for not being ready 7 years ago to make contact with her.

To me it is perfectly understandable why you weren't ready (then- newly married, perhaps hadn't even told anything to your spouse about your earlier pregnancy and child?  Or at least had shut it away...) but are ready (now, 7 years later... after having more children, and seeing them grow and seeing them as individuals who have feelings etc.)

In your interactions with your birth daughter, try to remember it is not about you, it is about her, her needs not yours.  Always be the bigger person.  Always focus on her, whatever her terms are and make that clear as well.

Tell her for example, that you understand she may have questions about her family health history, and that no matter whether she wishes to have any contact with you, that you have gathered up that type of information and can share it with the third party.    Tell her that you will always be willing to meet her, now or in years from ow, whenever she wants.   Make it clear that you are putting her need first from here on out.[/quote]

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