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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One thing I think people in this thread are glossing over is that social media engagement is effectively her job/a major part of her job. Following his rules would be akin to asking her to quit her job and become financially dependent on him after only a few months of dating. Which is creepy and weird.

I still think she should never have released these, [b]but his “boundaries” (not boundaries at all, rules for her life) were not reasonable. [/b][/quote]

Yes, this. Boundaries are something [i]you[/i] won't do, not something that you won't let other people do. [/quote]

This is true but people get very good at twisting it because a lot of people do mostly just want to control other people.

Like in his texts, he’s basically framing it as “I won’t be in a relationship with someone who does XYZ.” So it sounds like he’s talking about his own boundaries.

But it doesn’t make sense because he knowingly entered into a relationship with someone who does those things, in fact he entered the relationship BECAUSE she does some of those things (if she wasn’t a surfer who posts bikini pics, he would never have DMed her).

So he can make it appear that he is simply talking about his limits, but it’s actually manipulative because he had different limits before and us suddenly changing them now that he feels he can.

That’s what people are identifying as an abusive behavior. If Hill doesn’t want to date women who do these things, he has the power to just… not date them. He CHOSE to start a relationship with someone who behaves in a way he thinks “violates his boundaries” but then assumed that he could change/control her once they were dating. That’s manipulative.

Most likely he was on a power trip due to his fame, and figured if she got a taste of dating a celebrity his level (red carpets, getting recognized, etc.), she would agree to change he behavior and personality to stay with him. Again: manipulative and disturbing.

If these were actually his boundaries, he would never need to articulate them this way. He’d just choose partners accordingly. These texts are actually all about seeing if she will acquiesce to not having her own boundaries, and letting him dictate the parameters of her own life. It’s a test.[/quote]

You’re assuming his text happened in a vaccuum where he decided to text her to give her a list of his boundaries.

The reality is that this likely wasn’t just done as a declaration of boundaries but a response to various conversations, behaviours, situations and his text was likely part of a longer conversation. It has been chopped and presented as a stand alone list of boundaries but it is highly unlikely that is really what it was.

Without knowing the context and the conversation it was a part of, you are just making assumptions based on your own biases and creation of a context to fit your interpretation. Look at your own texts. If an angry ex decided to selectively pick texts, remove all context and then say you were x or y or z and this text shows it., you likely wouldn’t agree that context is irrelevant.[/quote]

PP here. I disagree with this woman’s decision to release these texts and I’m sure there are nuances to their relationship we aren’t getting. I would assume from her behavior (the choice and timing of releasing these texts) that she has her own issues and problematic behaviors.

But the contours of what I just described are, I think, accurate. In his texts, he’s asking her to cease behaviors that she quite obviously engaged in regularly before they started dating, and that he must have been aware of. He knew how she posted online, knew her lifestyle. Based on her texts, it’s clear that he didn’t agree with all those choices. But then he CHOSE to pursue and later tried to change these things about her. That’s not “having boundaries.” It’s a power trip.[/quote]

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