Reply to I get upset when high-stakes things go wrong, husband doesn't care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, IDK whether this will resonate, but in both of the situations you have described here the scenario has not just been that you want a peak experience made even peak-ier—it is that you are unhappy specifically because you think other people who are present are getting something better or faster than you are.

If that is in fact a common thread, worth noticing that they are distinct situations and modifying the latter involves some different work than modifying the former.[/quote]

You're right, this is exactly it. It's really hard for me to get over perceived injustice. Like, if no one gets a view because it's foggy, whatever, it's bad luck. But to watch other people getting what I want and can't get is really hard for me.

Another post said I'm like a victim of Instagram, and it's true. I have really tried to step away from watching other people's perfect lives on social media, but you can't really get away from seeing them in real life.

(Side note, the table in front of us was this sugar daddy in his late 60s and his sugar baby, so to see my partial view, I had to also watch some nasty goings-on between them, and it was just objectively unpleasant).[/quote]

Actually OP I understand where you are coming from. And I think that there is a whole lot missed in this scenario.

See unlike others I think and even have witnessed that when a complaint is made by one and then backed up by a second that in fact you get more traction. It doesn’t require anger but if you both are expressing disappointment and then asking for a remedy, then it actually does make more of a difference bc it is harder for it to be ignored. It doesn’t mean you get the remedy you want but my observation is it gets taken more seriously. So in that regard, yeah, I think if the DH has chimed in then the waiter may have been compelled to see if any change in seating arrangement was possible. And as a benefit, for some,  just having the spouse back them up can make the difference in how they feel about the issue and even not feel as bad if they don’t get any remedy.

The approach of sitting and stewing quietly is annoying. It’s better to say out loud wow I am really disappointed and feel cheated bc I didn’t know about making an earlier reservation and just be sad about it for a few minutes instead of just stewing silently. Of course then after a few minutes you have to be able to move on and appreciate what you do have and what you can control.

Lackluster service is something you can improve by being more picky. And people are free to disagree but again observe anytime you are in a restaurant and despite what any server might post here, the picky and nice people they pay more attention.[/quote]

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