Reply to SIL asked us to take her kids overnight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have the right to say no, so just do it.  But this [b]one overnight [/b]is really not the major ask you are making it out to be.[/quote]

True, if it were just a single overnight, it would be no big deal.  Yet, you and so many others fail to see that The Overnight encompasses all snubbing, dissing, ignored opportunities that embody the IL's relationship with OP and her DH.  If an overnight has no emotional baggage, it's simple.  Add all the emotional baggage to it and it becomes something very different.

I'm sure OP would have been receptive to a playdate at a playground and McDonald's for lunch afterwards. [b]If you're interested in building a relationship, you don't do it by dumping your kids on people who are essentially strangers to them[/b].[/quote]

OP here. This is it.

I do not really like my SIL. It's also clear she doesn't like me, because she has not responded to a single text of mine trying to get the kids together for playdates. She was never there for me when I had childcare or healthcare emergencies. She and her kids took precedence all those years with my MIL/FIL and had plenty of sleepovers with MIL, a heck of alot more "breaks" and overnights away from her kids than DH and I ever have. DH and I have not had a single night away from our son, ever.

I gave up at some point. Because I realized there was no point in putting an effort into a relationship with someone who does not reciprocate my attempts. She was not interested in getting to know me, so all I know of her is what I hear from my DH who does not speak highly of her or his BIL.

When we do hear from her, it's an ask. She wanted my DH to take her and her kids out on our fishing boat. She pestered him over and over again until he said he would not take them out unless they bought their own lifejackets, which she refused. She expected to borrow our kids lifejacket, which would be too small for her kid. Our son is underweight at a 3T/4T at 4 years old. Her 4 y/o daughter wears an Xsmall.

Her and her BIL do not seem to care about safety, my SIL's kid fell straight to the bottom of a pool at a family event because they don't seem to enforce water safety or require them to wear lifejackets around pools despite them not knowing how to swaim. My SIL was closeby and my BIL just shrugged it off and said "oh, she's fine." Never put their kids in swimming lessons or preschool. Basically just shoved them on my MIL 9-5. They don't enforce carseats for their kids because it will "damage the leather" in their stupid $100K+ SUV.

And so no, when these asks come up it's just like ... why? She was never interested in developing a relationship with my son or I. Our relationship was holiday cards and seeing her kids at holidays or after birthday invites. I'm not giving up 18 hours of time to study or spend with my family 1-1 so that she and BIL can go party.[/quote]

I'm confused. I thought it was just overnight. But you said it was 24 hours, and now it's only 18. [/quote]

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