Reply to Will I regret not having a third?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am in the exact same boat as you in terms of always thinking I would have three and wanting the third, but my husband doesn't. I am agonizing about it.

Reading this thread, which is mostly arguing to stop at 2, I think it's regional. I lived in DC for many years and just recently moved to the sunbelt. I think the DMV is very culturally different -- I really think parents are way more stressed by kids, and the local culture promotes feeling resentful towards children or highlighting the stressful parts, whether that's career-related or whatever. I agree with the person who said parenting is difficult but worthwhile. Maybe we're all chasing total happiness and bliss 24/7, which is impossible and setting us up for disappointment.

My question as I, too, contemplate this is: How is one more THAT much more stressful than two? Two is already hard! But how can one more person in the house add so much incremental difficulty? Or more difficulty than can be offset by the joy and fulfillment? I'm genuinely asking. I was shellshocked going from 0-1 because it's a total lifestyle change. But 1-2 was basically zero adjustment for me -- we were already in the trenches!

Besides an entire added human worth of expenses (which is a huge argument, I agree) and keeping the whole family down in the baby years with naps etc., I don't get how it's that big of a lifestyle change. But it DOES seem like it would be incrementally fun and lively and joyous and fulfilling.

Genuinely asking.[/quote]

I look at it not as “will having 3 bring *me* joy and fulfillment” but will I be able to give all 3 of my kids equal opportunities for joy and fulfillment. If you can, then go ahead.[/quote]

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