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Reply to "Any all-boy moms wistful about not having a daughter?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s a good thing none of these PPs had girls because they would be horrible girl moms with all the negative stereotypes about girls. Is this what you are teaching your boys to think about girls? That they’re all drama? And why is it not okay for a girl to be into ‘girly’ things? I feel sorry for your future DILs. [/quote] I think I'm one of the posters you're referring to. There is nothing wrong with girls being dramatic or into "girly" things. The OP asked if we were wistful about not having a daughter. I'm just happy I get to avoid those particular things that usually (although not all the time) come with having a daughter. If I did have a daughter, I know I'd be just as fiercely proud of her as I am my boys, even if she was he girliest girl and simply full of drama. But that wasn't the question. It's just that I'm not that wistful about not having a girl [b]because I know that one of the advantages of having boys (at least my particular boys) is that I don't have to deal with that. [/b] It's like not getting a job that you know you would've loved simply because you realize that you would've had to work 14 hours a day. You aren't sad you didn't get it, although you know you would've done well with it, but it wasn't an option so you're not going to pine for it.[/quote] Please don’t be so naive and dismissive. You’re doing your boys a real disservice [/quote] What are you talking about? How am I doing them a disservice because [b]they're not dramatic and they don't get wrapped up into social things?[/b] I consider myself lucky that they don't. I mean, they could be those type of kids who do but they aren't. I don't know that if I had a girl that she necessarily would be either. But the point is that I'm not wistful that my boys are not girls. They are who they are. I appreciate them and they are great kids. Please spell out the disservice that this attitude brings upon them. How am I naive and dismissive?[/quote] This has nothing to do with them being boys. This is who they are. Thinking that their gender is the reason is so archaic.[/quote] Look at my earlier post where I put, in parentheses, "at least my particular boys". I'm completely aware that they are who they are and that a girl might be similar. That said, I don't necessarily know that she would. THUS, I'M NOT WISTFUL. But, please, tell me how my thoughts regarding this are naive, dismissive, and a disservice to my boys. I'm awaiting a true and meaningful response. [/quote] Because your assumption that you are more likely to have drama with girls is based on stereotypes. You will likely transfer this view to your sons. And they will only date women who fit this stereotype and will perpetuate the cycle. Nothing wrong with that of course if your son falls in love with a drama-filled girl, but it’s a little sad that he can’t see other options as being feminine and worthwhile. If you had daughters, your sons would learn to evaluate girls as individuals, especially weren’t over the top in assigning gender to personality traits [/quote] No, my assumption that girls are more dramatic is based on my life’s experiences. My boys aren’t being raised to dislike drama in girls or to choose girls with less drama in their lives. However if they did choose a drama-less girl it would not surprise me as they are not ones to appreciate the overactivity and anxiousness that comes with such behavior. I imagine, in that case, they would also avoid boys who were dramatic or attracted to drama. None of this is based on stereotypes it’s based on their personalities. I just don’t understand how someone can anonymously assume things are based on stereotypes and poor parenting just because they don’t like the facts of a particular situation. And now I’m even happier that I have boys because the moms of boys don’t assume you’re raising your kids incorrectly just because they don’t like drama.[/quote]
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