Reply to S/O You can be canceled even if you aren’t a bigot, it happened to me

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Reply to "S/O You can be canceled even if you aren’t a bigot, it happened to me"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I think what happened to you is that everyone already didn’t like you, for whatever reason. [b]People who are liked and respected don’t get “canceled” for one mistake[/b] or ill-considered comment. If these were your colleagues, there was already a problem. [/quote]

This is not true.  There are many people who are bound to an orthodoxy (worse than any religion) that makes them cut off friends and family who violate any facet of their beliefs.  Just watched a bizarre situation when we hosted some of my son's friends for Spring Break.  We had a policy discussion over dinner on cartel violence at the border and two of them spent an entire day crying in a bedroom.  I want to say that "you are an adult now, use your words to make a policy argument."  But somehow that discussion was so egregious that he has been cut-off as being "anti-immigrant" by those two after four years of friendship (and hosting them).  So just think of how little co-workers could value you.[/quote]

I said to a friend over Spring Break that I don't believe in disengaging from people who hold different views. He looked stunned and said, "you don't?"  I said no but offered no explanation and he changed the subject. Even tolerance is taboo these days.  [/quote]
What level of disagreement tho?

I'm not going to speak to people who actively support laws that oppress me (I'm gay). That means that person fundamentally opposes my right to exist. Now, I also won't punch them or TP their house. I just won't ever speak to them.

[/quote]

The conversation had no nuance. I was explaining that I am okay being friends with people who hold different views. That's it. It was in the context of living in an area that was well balanced across the political spectrum (rather than being simply liberal).

I'm even okay with people believing in laws that I think are oppressive toward me. Just in general, I think that living in integrated cultures is okay. I have also lived in other countries that are more conservative than the US and that's okay too. I respect their views and think most people come from a fundamentally good and decent place, even if I disagree with their conclusions. I have always tried to be open minded.  [/quote]

This. I am very progressive. I know people on here will assume that because I'm arguing against canceling people or indict a person entirely for one or two beliefs you find repugnant, it means I must be a Trumper. But I'm not even close -- I've never voted for a Republican for a major elective office (I might have voted for a few local politicians who were Republicans back in the 90s/00s if I was happy with their performance). I've worked on democratic campaigns and done lots of volunteer work for pro-choice organizations.

But I think part of it for me is that I didn't grow up with these beliefs. My dad is basically libertarian or Republican, depending on the issue or day. My mom is liberal but was raised super conservative Catholic and when I was a kid she was very anti-abortion, skeptical of feminism in general, and believed homosexuality, unwed parents, etc. were sins (she has since loosened up on a lot of those things, helped by some of her kids). I arrived at my progressive beliefs through talking to people and self-examination. I took philosophy classes in college and it helped give me a framework for thinking through beliefs and needing a way to support assertions about the way the world should be or the way people should act, or the role of government. I've learned a lot over the years, from liberals, conservatives, moderates, socialists, hard-core capitalists. I've also spent a lot of time both abroad and working/living/socializing with people from other countries, and discovered that the American-style left-right dynamic doesn't always translate and there are lots of ways to look at these issues that we don't really even contemplate here.

I think my opinions are "right" -- I've put a lot of effort into developing them. But I've held "wrong" opinions enough times in the past, only to learn and correct them, that I think it's arrogant for me to tell anyone that they must be wrong about everything 100%.

So the idea of cancelling people... it just bothers me. People should be given space to evolve. And if you think you are done evolving, I question your judgment. And none of us is going to learn anything if we don't talk to each other. I'm NOT moderate and find a lot of moderates sort of ridiculous in their beliefs, but the one thing I think moderates get right these days is the belief that conversation and compromise is good for us. When we retreat to our corners and just shut down, we might as well give up. We'll never accomplish any of our goals that way.[/quote]

This. I'm not progressive but I'm very liberal. To me, being liberal also includes listening to other people's views, be okay with them holding views that don't agree with my own, and then NOT thinking that they are the devil. I've worked very hard at this. But, this is now opposite of what is acceptable for someone on the left. I disagree with the yelling past each other and knee jerk reactions. It's not healthy for our society. [/quote]

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