Reply to How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Question for Rico... How do you dump these women later?[/quote]

The answer is simple. You do not "dump" them; instead, you create conditions that instell an overwhelming desire in them to end the affair. You must plan for this eventuality well in advance, for it often requires considerable time to effect. Rather than tell the soon-to-be-ex object of your desires that you must leave her because you have grown closer to your wife, you simply drop hints and suggestions that you are growing closer to your wife, while continuing the affair as before. If you develop a new object of your desires, simply begin to talk about her, always briefly and in passing, but regularly, with the STBX object. Again, carry on with the affair as before. At the same time, ever so gradually, begin to withdraw the support to her ego that you had been supplying. Each week, or each assignation, say a little bit less about the qualities in her that she values and her husband does not. Eventually, no matter how smitten you have made her, she will fall out of love and, if done right, she will end the affair "of her own accord." You must act hurt by her decision, lest she suspect the ruse, but then you must acquiesce in the decision with dignity, asking that you remain "friends." It is then you will have completed the full circle of seduction.[/quote]

Well, it seems to me Rico gets off more on the maneuvers of getting into and out of the affair than the pleasure of having the affair.  Major wake up call that a man could be so manipulative.

As a woman who is 40 not in high school, I do not like drama or games.  I would respect a man that simply said he had second thoughts and did not want to continue with the affair.  After all, I would expect him to have the same respect for me if I decided not to continue.

My expectations during the affair:

1) No contact with my family or husband (husband is ok with affair as long as he does not know or causes him embarrassment); likewise, I would never try to contact his family or wife.

2) Discretion is key - No sharing info. re: affair with friends or colleagues

3) If other person decides he/she can't stand the guilt and needs to tell spouse, leave the other person's name out of it.  Spouse may cause drama and raise havoc for other person.

4) No games -  If you want to hook up, then call for arrangements.  If you don't, be honest with the other person and say you are no longer interested or have had a change of heart.

5) No illusions this will last.  If I ever got a divorce, I would not want to move in with him or ever marry him.  I am not a monogamist, so I would never want to go down that road again.  
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