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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Found out about DH's affair and confronted his AP, only to be shocked by her accusatory stance and lack of empathy.  Is this really happening? [/quote]

If you want to salvage this marriage, don't back down. If they were indeed having an affair, calmly confronting both was needed. [b]What's the worse that can happen?[/b] Yes, your husband is the one who betrayed his vows but she is an adult woman knowingly participating in destroying a family. You did nothing wrong.

Now make up your mind about staying or leaving. If you are staying then ask your husband if he wants couple's counseling or divorce. Take it from there.[/quote]

What's the worst that can happen?

1. You get yourself shot, or otherwise killed
2. You tell her husband, and her husband kills her and himself. Sometimes the kids too.  The public doesn't always learn the reasons behind murder suicides, but I know one (personally know of) that occurred when the betrayed husband found out about an affair.  Left their kids parentless.

It's never worth it. Get yourself tested for STDs, and get a divorce. He's not worth ruining your life over. [/quote]

Amen about not ruining your life. NP and I'm wagering people here will think this is made up, but it's true: Confronting the other man actually ended up horribly for the family of a longtime family friend. Our family friend's adult DD ended up shooting the husband of her DH's AP. He lived, but might not have, and the woman only escaped jail time because her dad was promient and powerful in the small town and there was enough dough to give a payout to the man who got shot. But she really should have gone to jail, it was that bad.

Basically: Her DH was having an affair. The other woman's husband found out and stormed to this couple's home to confront the cheating DH. The guy was banging on a door, demanding the DH come outside and saying he'd beat the DH. The idiot cheating DH did go outside and the wife panicked and got the gun that she kept "for self-defense." She goes outside and yells that the two men, who by that point apparently were throwing punches, had to stop. She said later she was afraid her husband would get hurt. She ends up pulling the trigger and shooting the guy in the leg. (If she had hit his artery he likely would have died very quickly, if you know anything about what happens if a leg artery is shot.) The rest was a nightmare and she thought for a long time she was going to go to prison. It was only because her family was prominent and it was a small town where everyone knew (and liked) her, and thought the guy who was shot was a jerk, that she didn't go to jail. I've never understood why law enforcement didn't arrest and try her for this--I actually think they should have. Corruption saved her, basically, from her own incredible stupidity. I'd have just called the freaking cops as soon as the guy was pounding on the door. He's lucky he wasn't killed, she's lucky she wasn't jailed. And unbelievably she stayed with that DH!

It sounds like trash city but the woman and her cheating DH were a well-off upper middle class couple, gorgeous house, good jobs, blah blah. Not a "type" you'd expect to hear this about. It just shows that stupid has no boundaries. And confrontations with spouses' affair partners actually can get people shot and other people (nearly) arrested. [/quote]

Doubtful this telenovella was real, but it’s not the betrayed spouses fault dummy.   Imagine mine if that would have happened if the cheaters had integrity and didn’t cheat.[/quote]

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