Reply to Most young men are single - most young women are not

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS university is 56% female, 44% male. According to DS, there’s an anonymous, school specific social platform w[b]here girls complain that the guys on campus don’t approach. He admits they don’t because they feel like creepers, an overused term used on social media.[/b] He connected a girl [friend] with his roommate, and they are now in a relationship. DS college sophomore (19) is in a very new situationship with a high school senior (18). They met in a traditional setting over the summer. She visited him on campus. We haven’t met her, but he told me yesterday that she suggested they take DH and me to dinner over winter break. I like her already. He also called his cousin who is getting married this spring to add her as his plus one 🙃. She’s been accepted to a few colleges (for civil engineering) in same city as DS. I sound like a creeper, but I’m not. He told me! [/quote]

The bolded is an increasingly loud chorus. But what they really mean is that guys they find attractive don't approach them and the rest are creepers. And that men are supposed to just know ex-ante which category they fall into and/or assume the risk of a Title IX complaint if they take the initiative but make one wrong move.

Women don't want to have to do [i]anything [/I] that falls mildly outside of their comfort zones, but still want to reap all of the rewards.

Young men have been neutered in so many ways. A true cluster.

[/quote]

I think this approach/creeper dynamic is one of those things with some truth but which is overstated. Guys don't want to be regarded as creeps, but even if that wasn't the case, they still wouldn't want to approach. Because it's nerve-wracking! The truth is that getting a sexual harassment complaint because you asked a girl out on a date is the stuff of online mythology. It's not happening. But she might say "no." She probably won't laugh at you, but she might. And there's a pretty good chance she'll giggle with her friends at your expense if you weren't up to her standards. Initiating these things sucks. And that's why women mostly don't want to do it either. Because of long years of cultural tradition, women can avoid having to do it just based on inertia. They are understandably more interested in changing those aspects of culture where men get something that women would like to have. They're not going to jump to take on those tasks men do that women don't want to do. [/quote]

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