Reply to Explain to me the financial risk of SAH if partner is a high earner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A point that is missing from the discussion is that those of more modest means likely do not have the assets for a prolonged battle in family court. Wealthy men do, have often done quite a bit of pre-planning and hiding assets and many may be high powered attorneys themselves.

Working gives women a means of supporting themselves and their children if need be. What can seem like a lot of money and a "solid" marriage can all vanish quickly. You may be shocked and taken by surprise. A spouse that is "at the office" or travelling and away from the family much of hte time can become progressively disengaged, disenchanted and ripe for an affair and I had no idea.

Ime, to shift guilt from a workplace affair, I became an object of contempt/scorn and custody schedules and delaying tactics were used to break me down emotionally and financially so that I accepted far less in a settlement than I had ever imagined. Someone I had thought of as of good character and protective of our child with mild SN went scorched earth and did not provide funds to continue beneficial therapies, for example. I had not worked in several years, had an out of date network and was hard pressed to pay a comparable lawyer as every delaying tactic in the book was used.

I do think the gulf got greater as ex stopped seeing me as a peer, which I had been when we met. When a midlife crisis hit, I was just a drudge, not exciting and a go getter. Any foothold in the working world and the financial independence and networks that come with it help maintain certain balances. I never thought it could happen to me and my kids but assets can be hidden very easily and without a lot of money for forensic accountants, they cannot be recovered. Orders are often not enforced re: things like insurance beneficiaries. You can be left struggling to provide basics for your kids during your custody time which made my kids scared and angry at the disparity from their former life and their other home. It is increasingly difficult to get a foothold back in the working world in midlife.

Best to all in this situation.[/quote]

Sounds like the money and prestige is not worth it.  Why would anyone put up with that?   I’d rather have much less, a good marriage and my dignity.  [/quote]

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