Reply to Is 14 too young for gf/bf?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A friend of mine married the guy she started dating at 14. She will 100% not let her kids be in serious bf/gf relationships at that age.

Dating as in hang out at school or in a group or in public - sure. Dating as in have them over to get to know your family, deepen their relationship through extended 1:1 time together in their home and giving them private space to build a more intimate relationship - no. [/quote]

Why? Was she not happy with how things worked out? Just curious. [/quote]

No, they are now divorced. She said becoming so close to his family as a teen made it seem like they were already married and she had in-laws. They joked about it. She felt a part of their family and he hers and it became what was just almost expected of them. Both families loved the boy/friend girlfriend.

She also said neither of them ever got to be single or form their own identify, they were Matt and Sarah from 8th grade on. They did a lot together and while they had their own interests their lives were enmeshed from such an early age that they developed together versus independently.

They got engaged at 19 and so college was a really different experience for them and every bit of free time was driving back and forth and managing a long distance relationship and finding time to be together so again she says they didn’t really get to be young adults.

They also never dated anyone else and down the road both felt a little resentful that they had been so serious so early and all they had ever known was a serious relationship. They got married soon after college as they had already been together ten years and it was easier for his career if they were married. They had kids soon after at a time when most of their friends were not there yet so they were out of sync with their peer group.

In the end they divorced. Both felt if they had gotten sucked into an early serious relationship vortex that just carried them along and when all you have ever known is this one person and you haven’t been single since you were 13, they also stayed together longer than they should have as being apart and losing each other’s families (who were like their own) was too scary. [/quote]

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