Reply to Anyone else here struggle with your feelings about ppl who don’t work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why are women so quick to judge women rather than a society that doesn't help working mothers thrive? The opt-out is real. [/quote]

Not everybody in this thread is a woman.[/quote]

Okay, revised for you. :roll:  >> Why are women and MEN so quick to judge women rather than a society that doesn't help working mothers thrive? The opt-out is real.

Although TBH a thread about WOHM hating SAHM or *checks notes* believe they are parasites, really isn't inclusive of men. [/quote]

I'm the one using the term parasite.  I'm a man.  Keep trying.[/quote]

WOW!  Low earning men or men from LMC/MC dysfunctional families are the only ones who call SAHMs parasites.  :puke:[/quote]

In my experience, most of my high earning friends whose wives are still at home full time after the kids are at school full time, carry some level of resentment. It’s a dirty secret they don’t tell their wives bc no one wants to be the one who ‘forces the woman back to work’ - but it’s a burden that men have carried for - well - ever, and I think many have feelings about it their wives don’t fully realize.
It’s just logical though - if you sah and your dh works full time - beyond early childhood - of course he feels resentful! Why would he not. [/quote]

One reason to not feel resentful is to think about the fact that this woman sacrificed her body and her career to create and then raise the people you probably love more than anything else in the world. I know lots of men in this situation who, rather than feel resentment, honestly feel their wives have earned a break after what usually amounts to 8-10 years pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and full time mothering to very small children who need everything, all the time. And if that break comes in the form of continuing to SAHM (i.e. continuing to cook and clean and be the primary parent for school age kids), or working part time or working an easy full time job, so be it. The men I know would be the first to tell you that they are not sure they would have been capable of doing what their wives did for their kids when they were young and that they do not bear resentment at all.

But the men I know really love their wives and kids and value family life, and therefore also really value the sacrifices their wives have made to create the happy, healthy family life they have. Their wives also really value the sacrifices their husbands made. In a functional family, everyone's contribution is appreciated. But you need two mature adults who can see the whole picture and share values. This doesn't work in relationships where people are selfish and myopic, or don't really care about the family that much, or are deeply unrealistic about how children are cared for. But those marriages are screwed even if both parents work, sorry to say.[/quote]

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