Reply to When you didn’t “do enough” as a host

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]heavy apps makes a GREAT Christmas day meal.  It means there is almost certainly something everyone likes- so no one is sitting there eating turkey when they don't like turkey etc.  It is timing flexible- so it makes less difference exactly what time guests arrive- if kids nap late or whatever- people aren't 'holding' dinner for you.  It means kids can play, and you are not forcing them to sit at a table for a long time.  It means the host is just busy in the kitchen in short bursts throughout the day rather than several hours focused in the kitchen fixing a meal.  I did this yesterday- it was great.  I had a nice platter of fruit, a nice platter of cut up veggies and hummus.  Cheese and crackers.  Cocktail meatballs in the crockpot in bbq sauce.  Thai peanut chicken wraps in cabbage.  Shrimp and cocktail sauce.  stuffed mushrooms.  scallops wrapped in bacon.  Deviled eggs. mini hot dogs in crescent rolls (e.g. pigs in a blanket).  falafel.  
Most of those was homemade- I also had 'backup' apps in the freezer (e.g. trader joe's stuff like mini tacos, frozen crab cakes etc).  Which I would have pulled out if the food was going faster than expected.   
OP- I'm sorry your sister was a jerk to you.  Shake off and ignore- I know that is easier said then done.[/quote]

This sounds terrible. I also don’t understand the “heavy apps” substitute for an actual meal. It feels more like a 2nd grade bday party. If I knew that I was going to a party like this, I’d most definitely feed the family before arriving so that we wouldn’t be hungry. If I didn’t know, it’d be annoying bc then we’d be hungry and stranded.

I do think this is just cultural though. If I ever hosted with just apps, I’d be mortified and laughed out of the family. In some parts of the US, this is totally the norm. My dad is from the Midwest and on rare occasions that we visit his family we don’t eat bc there’s never food! Or there might be a bowl of something but it’s doused in mayonnaise [/quote]

I thought the dinner verses appetizer part of this thread was so interesting.  At our house, we always make sure to serve plenty of food if the event is at a mealtime, and we communicate the plan to guests on the invitation so they know what to expect (buffet dinner, heavy appetizers, casual bbq, etc).  If someone did not wish to eat heavy appetizers, I would expect that they would eat whatever meal is “dinner” to them prior to arrival.  I would also expect that they wouldn’t share this information!  [b]That being said, I don’t think I have ever seen a guest do anything other than fill their plate and glass at any event we have ever hosted.[/b]

What cultures are you referencing when you say some of this is cultural? I’m genuinely just curious at the turn this thread took.[/quote]

What other thing would a guest do that you are thinking of here?[/quote]

If they have eaten their meal beforehand because they did not wish to eat “heavy appetizers” for dinner, I assume they would perhaps pick at the appetizers rather than eat one or two or more full plates.  Just a guess![/quote]

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