Reply to This is the first year in 13 years that I have completely dropped the rope with DH’s family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do all kinds of things for my in laws: getting them gifts, printing photos of the kids for them, arranging visits, having the kids make them cards, call them etc.  But I do it because I really love my in laws and they have been wonderful to me. I’m very grateful to have them so I genuinely want to do nice things for them. That and the fact that my husband doesn’t do much of the above if I didn’t so we wouldn’t see or talk to them as often and our kids wouldn’t have as close s relationship w them—which is something that is very important to all of us. [b]My husband is an equal partner in so many ways—dishes, laundry, childcare, etc—and he really loves his parents and has a great relationship w them but for whatever reason he’s just not good at planning and organizing our social life and family relationships at all (he really is fully present and great when we’re w them but he’s not good at planning the visit, he wants them to get gifts and cards from us/our kids but he can never think of what to get or doesn’t think of it til last minute so it’ll be late if I leave it to him) so I do it all including when it comes to his family.[/b][/quote]

It's no big mystery why your DH will be a thoughtful, equal partner for you but cannot be the same thoughtful son for his parents.
They are just lower on his priority list, as there's no risk about jeopardizing his relationship with them even if the presents and visits slipped through the cracks, unlike his relationship with you which he knows would suffer if he didn't work to maintain.
All of those expressing the same things (he is such a thoughtful and competent partner but too busy to think of presents and scheduling visits!), are all of these DHs able to hold down normal jobs and be communicative and thoughtful at work? If so, then he is absolutely capable of doing the same for his family or origin, it's just that he CHOOSEs not to. 
[/quote]

I wonder the posters who think men don’t value relationships are dealing with men who have client facing jobs. Like they can make sure the networking dinner happens (even without work from the client) but presents for their own parents? Too much! [/quote]

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