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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I would discuss with him an open marriage and  if you still sleep with him use condoms. I don’t feel it’s feasible to divorce just because of sex, if he’s a great father, and your life is otherwise comfortable. I would be more concerned if he had a serious affair that’s a marriage killer. He seems to have sex dependency

What I find appalling with cheaters is then opening marriage for themselves and often keeping “clean” spouses on call for sex when they want to, and fully unaware.

You should be able to fulfill your sexual desires and feel made adoration as well, not to always think about him and his transgressions.

You have to learn to treat sex as basic bodily function like meals. Your husband has meals out at times, same applies to sex. [/quote]

Not everyone wants an open marriage. Not everyone wants to live a lie. Some people feel having an open marriage is the same as being divorced or at least separated. The main  issue with divorce and separation is that you can't live in the same house or comingle assets easily. That's why people stay. It is something to consider. But lets not try to make everyone into a cheater as a way to solve someone's cheating habits.[/quote]

Uh, it already is an open marriage.  To him.  One sided, sure.  But he’s busted it wide open already.  He’s not going to stop.  Maybe for a couple years, but then he’ll be back into it again.[/quote]

This is so true.  I 'accidentally' slept with an older married man in my early twenties.  In the beginning, he didn't mention he was married and I didn't try to find out.  I was so 'in love' with him at the time. It was ridiculous and obsessive, and I couldn't tell anyone because I knew better, but I did get it together and shut it down. He continued to reach out here and there over the years, until I met DH and I put a stop to all communication at that point. Well, 20 years later and this guy is still married to the same woman, and she still posts happy family pictures from time to time on social media (I know, it's totally sick that I even look once and a while and I wish I didn't).  He has no social media presence, obviously because he's got a lot to hide.  No doubt in my mind he's serially cheated on her all this time because I knew the cheater version of him.  Maybe she's happy?  Hard for me to wrap my mind around that, but again, I only knew the cheater version of him, not the husband/father version of him.  [/quote]

Sorry--off-topic: I don't understand why anyone has a public social media account unless they are using it as a celebrity--monitored site.

Nobody can see what I post on Instagram but my immediate and extended family and the very close friends (lifelong childhood/college).  I don't accept requests to be followed from school people, neighbors, friends of so and so-- or just have a totally open account. Mind bogglin.
[/quote]

Only about 12% of Twitter accounts are private. You can't easily engage in conversations with people who aren't your "friends" with a private account. For example when I'm at a business conference, I'll tweet using the hashtag for the conference and get in discussions with others at the conference that way.[/quote]

She mentioned looking at photos of her affair partner's spouse that she posts.  That sounds like Instagram, not twitter.  I question why anyone has an open Instagram account because there are so many pyschos and exs that stalk.[/quote]

Me again.  He doesn't have a facebook profile, instagram account, twitter profile or linked in profile.  He has a work bio and nothing else.  My accounts are all private, too, so I understand your point.  His wife occasionally posts something public.  Maybe she's defending against women like me? No judgment or public shaming necessary here - it was the dumbest, most regrettable thing I've done in my life.  I don't know why I look her up every 5 years or so.  This happened 20 years ago.  I have a great marriage and hot, successful husband.  I love my family. [/quote]

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