Reply to Question for the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.

Maybe it's the message sets sending you?

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Interesting. I married my husband at 23. He had a master's in statistics. I was a nanny with a high school diploma. I knew I wanted to be a SAHM. Ten years later, we have two kids, and I work part-time. I met a lot of moms in my 7+ years as a nanny and the majority of them wanted to be a sahm or work part-time, but for whatever reason, they couldn't. I saw firsthand how hard it was gor them to balance work and kids. Even the SAHM, with hired help were stressed. I knew I didn't have a high-income potential, so I chose someone with a STEM degree. Some of my friends tried to hide it, but I knew they thought I was marrying too young. Guess which ones are almost 40 and unmarried? Having the man be the plan has worked out for me. 
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It's true that a man is a pretty good plan for many women. [/quote]

I’m a DP but this is unnecessarily simplistic. “A man is not a plan” sure. But a man can either enhance your plan or derail your plan and most women I know who have really difficult lives have had their plans upended by a man. The PP made the man her whole plan, but plenty of women find themselves taking career hits when their partner won’t step up and parent, so their plans are still going to be impacted. [/quote]

I am the earlier pp who made the man my plan, and this was one of the reasons! As a nanny, I saw the career women stressed. I saw once they got home, they had another job. I worked with 10+ families, probably more because I would work two or three part-time jobs. My life with my husband is far from perfect. I am resentful when I come home from work, and the house is an absolute mess. That said, I am financially better off than my friends who aren't married or even in relationships. It's important that we are all self-aware. [/quote]

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