Reply to DH WFH is a huge turn off

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have you thought about finding an office job?[/quote]

I'm 50 years old and haven't worked in an office since I was early 30's.. I selected my line of work for the remote flexibility because we have kids. I also do not have an office to go to. [/quote]

I get what you're saying - but you've enjoyed 20 years of getting to WFH and refuse to give it up. Can you understand why your husband enjoys it now, too?

I'm not saying you're wrong and he's right - just, I've worked from home on and off for 20 years too and it would really take something special for me to give it up. [/quote]

UMMM - Years of working from home while raising kids.. Intentionally as I'm the main caretaker. Please do not glorify this. [/quote]

Please, if she was working she had childcare. She took a lower pace job, got to work from and hang out with kids in afternoon, while he dragged himself to an office to bankroll her leaning out. [/quote]

Said like someone who has never tried to respond to client follow up emails while a child asks you to play with them and the other child demands another snack. Or tried to finish writing a work proposal on your laptop outside swim/gymnastics/ballet/hockey. Or gotten the call that your kid has a fever and needs to be picked up right before you are scheduled to deliver a live webinar, when your partner is at least an hour from the school.

I am very grateful for my flexible, WFH job that enables me to be present in my kids’ lives. But it is very different from a WFH set up that merely allows you to sleep in late and wear sweat pants all day. Comparing OP’s WFH experience to her husband’s is inaccurate. [b]For her WFH was essential to family functioning. To him, it’s a cool perk[/b].[/quote]

DP, not the one to whom you're responding, and while I agree with the examples you use -- and I have been that WFH mother for many years -- two things:

One: "For her WFH was essential," the key word being "was," depending on the kids' ages now. I do agree that even older kids who are not driving for themselves can mean it's far better to WFH with kids in MS and even HS (which is exactly what I did).

But let's bear in mind that OP also notes, if I'm reading the thread right, that she does not have an office to which she can "return" so those saying she should go back to the office don't know what they're talking about. Nor should she be forced to find a different job in an office (as someone else here insisted) JUST because her DH is now at home and she does not like that fact.

But she does exhibit, in her posts serious inflexibility and apparent lack of any interest in helping work out better solutions [i]with[/i] her DH. She seems so angry that she just has chosen to stay that way and not come up with actual ideas beyond wanting things back exactly as they were before 2020.

Two: "To him, it's a cool perk." In this specific case, yes, since this DH seems to have coworkers who have returned to an office.

But I'm just noting for the broader discussion: That's not the case for every DH or DW who continues to work at home. It's not always a choice and not always about "I like to stay in my PJs all day." My DH and his team all work from home four days a week and go to the office one day each week (the same day, to meet etc.). This is going to be their arrangement for the foreseeable future, in part because his team's work is doable remotely, and in part because his employer reduced office space during the pandemic. He could not "go back to the office" five days a week (or even three or four) if he wanted to -- someone else "hotels" on the other four days a week in the office he used to use.

I'm noting this though it doesn't apply to the OP, because I think some PPs are assuming that many WFH spouses could choose simply to stroll back into offices FT, but that isn't always the case. My DH is not the only person I know whose office has arranged things for at least partial WFH as a permanent thing, going forward. [/quote]

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