Reply to In-laws are mad that we are inviting others to Christmas dinner. How to resolve this?

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Reply to "In-laws are mad that we are inviting others to Christmas dinner. How to resolve this?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What’s there to resolve? They can either come or not. [/quote]

Exactly.  I wouldn’t disinvite over this, but would immediately step in if they make inappropriate comments (personally I think this is unlikely).[/quote]

+1. They need to get over themselves.

And, well done, OP, for demonstrating the WWJD lifestyle.

[/quote]

Yes, this is just the spirit to honor thy mother and father according to the Commandments like all good Christians do.  :roll: Sounds like cafeteria Christianity.[/quote]

Inviting people to Christmas isn’t dishonoring your mother and father so I don’t even know what point you are trying to make here.[/quote]

It's pretty obvious. The in-laws have said this plan makes them uncomfortable. And rather than work with them to make them comfortable and keep everyone happy the only acceptable solution is to take a hard stance, tell the in-laws to just stay home, and pat yourself on the back for being such a loving Christian who brags about their charity to others. Who cares about the people who raised the husband after all? [/quote]
The in-laws can act like grownups for one meal. Or they can make other plans. Their choice.[/quote]

Yes, make the houseguests uncomfortable. That's the holiday spirit.[/quote]

The houseguests are making themselves uncomfortable.  [/quote]

A good host makes all their guests comfortable.[/quote]

Within reason.  Better yet, a good host gives all their guests the opportunity to be comfortable.  But a good host will not sacrifice the comfort of one guest for the comfort of another.  OP's neighbors aren't asking for the inlaws to be disinvited -- the inlaws are declaring that they will not allow themselves to be comfortable if the neighbors are there.[/quote]

Is the answer to disinvite the in-laws? I thought invites could not be rescinded?[/quote]

Of course invitations can be rescinded - I'm not the PP that said they couldn't.  You shouldn't rescind invitations except in extreme circumstances, but declaring that another guest is unwelcome certainly qualifies.  The answer is to inform the in laws that the neighbors are OPs guests, and if they can't treat the neighbors with kindness, or if they truly feel that they cannot enjoy themselves if the neighbors are there, then the in laws should stay home.[/quote]

The bait and switch is a raw deal for in-laws who made travel plans under the guise of a small and intimate family Christmas.  [/quote]

These things happen.  The in-laws are free to bail, but they can't demand that the other guests be kicked out.[/quote]

Sure, but the hosts don't get to pat themselves on the back for their wonderful hosting skills at their first Christmas in the new house.[/quote]

Of course they can.  They reacted well to their guests pitching a hissy fit and opened their home to a family in need.  They weren't obligated to keep the guest list set in stone.  It's their house.[/quote]

Of course its not set in stone, they can simply tell the neighbors some other time just as easily because the family is upset. You can even the neighbor that and roll your eyes and throw up your hand like "in-laws, what can you do?". They aren't only in need that one day, maybe a New Years Day dinner instead.[/quote]

Yes, that was one option. But OP chose a better option, one that doesn't involve disinviting anyone.  It requires that OP buy extra food and find more chairs, and it requires that the in-laws suck it up like grown adults, perhaps in the spirit of the holiday they're gathering to celebrate.[/quote]

OPs question is "how to resolve this" it doesn't sound like she has decided on how to handle. Maybe she will come back and explain.[/quote]

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