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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. Btdt: she should work part-time to keep foot in the door
2. I thought nanny share was where nanny would work for you 2 days and someone else 3 days. You paid her for your two days and they paid for their 3 days and you didn’t necessarily have to interact. At end of year you gave her W2 for amount you paid and other family gives W2 for amount they paid. Each family is responsible for the taxes, etc. on the amount they pay. Am I wrong? You aren’t one joint employer. 
3. To have the discussion, you need to look at ALL expenses (including yours) and decide what are necessities and what can be given up. You said you are older parents. Do you have sufficient life insurance on both of you? Does she get health insurance through her job or yours? Have you planned for college? 
4. Sounds like you both would like to move to a house soon. Interest rates have almost doubled so your buying power is less unless you can pay in cash. You may need to stay in your condo much longer than anticipated. Are you comfortable with the schools? 
5. You said you cook. Do you cook the items from the meal services? If not, who does and when do they get eaten? It seems like if you cook (and are willing to grocery shop), this is something you can mutually agree to drop. [/quote]

We've done nanny shares a few different ways. It can be a great flexible option but you are not going to get around working with the other family - your vacation schedules will have to be coordinated and any leave approved by both families, etc. Would you expect the nanny to care for sick kids? It does complicate things quite a bit.[/quote]

Good point. The op and his wife don’t seem to want to compromise on anything. He wants her to be able to stay home and be able to save (presumably) to buy a house in a few years. She wants to keep up her lifestyle of massages (fine, they are for health), but also frequent body scrubs (???), manicures and pedicures.

Something will have to give. I suggest the body scrubs (buy nice stuff to use at home), the food subscriptions, the frequent manicures (maybe get them only if you are going out for a special occasion). When I was in diaper mode, I didn’t get manicures a lot. I was always washing my hands (I had twins so I had a lot of diapers). Regular manicures started back up after potty training. Now op should give up some things too. [/quote]

OP here. I have said that we need to cut down on her expenses. [/quote]

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