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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole thread is so cringe worthy. Full of self-congratulatory “retired” SAHM’s. I am a SAHM but you all make us sounds insufferable. Please stop.[/quote]

Who is us? [/quote]

You can’t group SAHMs together. Every mom is her unique person and another family’s situation has nothing to do with her.

Some people work for money. Others for personal fulfillment.

Some moms are ok with putting kids in daycare all day. I hated sending my kids to daycare even though my kids went to a great one and had a lot of fun with their friends. I still have mom guilt from those days. [/quote]

This is what is cringe worthy. You still have “mom guilt” over sending your kids to a daycare they loved? Do you even hear yourself? How that sounds to other people. Good thing you married a high earner to save your from your “guilt.”[/quote]

Yes, I sent my kids sick to daycare all winter. I wish I stopped working before. I am entitled to my feelings. I couldn’t make it to one of the few events my daycare had and my kid would cry because I couldn’t come. [/quote]

Yeah, I'm a FT WOHM/WFH mom who loves her job.  I have no desire to become a SAHM.  I don't think this is that cringe worthy.  I was never comfortable with (and did not use) full-time group care for mine when they were infants and toddlers.    [/quote]

Ok you are very happy with your child care situation but how is this remotely applicable to OP with a 4 year old and an 8 year old? [/quote]

Sorry that sounded sharper than I meant it to. I also struggled at times with child care when my kids were very young but by 4 they love preschool. It’s not the time I’d be leaving the workforce. My kids are similar ages and I am a PP who cut back so my kids didn’t have long days (feel this even more strongly with elementary school, my oldest is TIRED after school) but I feel like I’m at the point where the decision to stay in the workforce is paying off. [/quote]

It makes me raise an eyebrow when women decide they need to be SAHM only once all their kids start or are on the verge of going to school full-time. I get that sometimes the timing just works like that with family circumstances but it's hard to imagine being super comfortable sending an infant/toddler to daycare all day but only once they're 5 is it too much... [/quote]

This is my situation. I’m strongly considering staying home in the new year (3 kids — age range 3-8). I’m not staying home now because I’m not comfortable with my kids in childcare/school — I’m staying home because we’ve finally accumulated enough money that I don’t have to work. Not working will make things much easier at home and I’m burned out from the rat race that is raising 3 kids and having 2 parents with “big” jobs. I may go back at some point or pick up some consulting — not sure.[b] So what’s there to raise an eyebrow about[/b]?[/quote]

Some people seem to place way more importance on having a mom stay home during the early childhood years.  They seem to think it’s very important for babies and toddles to be cared for by mom and not a nanny.

Personally I think the older years are more important.  Most of the childcare during the early years is grunt work that anyone can do.  But a lot of people would disagree with me.

I also there there is some misogyny going on where people get angry if a woman has an easy life and doesn’t go to work when kids are in school.  Even though the woman just spent years wiping butts and spent months pregnant she can’t possibly have a break.  She need to go to work because her husband must.  [/quote]

It's not that. It's that they are deciding to stay home right as the kids are leaving for six hours a day. Convenient. [/quote]

Exactly... I find nothing odd about continuing on the SAHM path once kids are in school, just the ones I know who worked only until the kids were in school all day seem like odd timing.
 In the cases I know the women did not have big, inflexible jobs such that they couldn't manage a teacher work day here or there. It just seems like they were both uninterested in working and in being with their kids full time (but then claim they are just as busy as they would have been if they were home while the kids were toddlers). They don't seem to get it.[/quote]

It’s not that different from the ones who claim they would “totally go back to work” but can’t seem to figure out how to do that an get a kid to the dentist at the same time.[/quote]

Look I work full time, but the constant appointments are one of the things that is driving me to change jobs. My child has had 6 visits between dentist/orthodontist in order to get some spacers, teeth pulled, and retainer put in, along with regular dental checkup. Sibling has weekly therapy for ocd. Add in well visits, well visit for the dog, 2 sick visits, and I have missed a TON of work recently. My husband is a doctor and can’t just cancel 20 patients’ appointments for a kid dental visit. Who is going to do these appointments? A nanny? [/quote]

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