Reply to Explaining ASD child’s rude comments to strangers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not about spending a lot of time or energy on it. It's about a brief acknowledgement that something is happening that shouldn't. That's all.

This does, however, explicitly acknowledge (even though it takes a literal two seconds) that your kid is breaking a social norm. That can be hard to do. It's being vulnerable, it's a blue to the ego for some people, and it can feel like too much to ask when you are already stretched beyond what you can handle--but let's not pretend it takes too much time to do it. It just can make you feel bad, or even worse.[/quote]

Well there’s the rub. It is *not my job* to explicitly acknowledge my child is breaking a social norm every time. It’s my job to teach my child. And in many scenarios an apology just is not going to be possible or the top of my list of concerns. The fact that you’re dwelling on how “oh, it’s so easy, just do it” indicates you actually have no clue what the task of dealing with behaviors in public and teaching desires behaviors entails. [/quote]

It's not part of your job to your kid, that's true. It is part of your job as a community member of a civil society, but I also get that you may not be up for holding up your responsibility at that moment. Not snarky, just acknowledging that you are saying you can't.

And if you can't, or won't, then other people will have to carry on. They will. [/quote]

Nope absolutely not my responsibility to society to apologize for my child! If you’re fixates on SN moms needing to do their duty to society by putting apologizing to strangers over other more urgent parenting needs, well then … seems like your priorities are all wrong. Generally I haven’t worried about apologizing for my kid’s behavior since I first learned that other people don’t care - what they want is your child to go away, or get some sense of justice. My kid’s behaviors actually are not my fault so I no longer apologize for them. [/quote]

Fascinating. Take this post to the next therapy session. [/quote]

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