Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities
Reply to "Explaining ASD child’s rude comments to strangers "
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Clearly some posters don't realize this is in the Special Needs & Disabilities forum and found the thread through Recent Topics. Parenting classes...ha. Hahahahahahahaha. Ha.[/quote] NP Therapists all recommend parenting classes for ASD children. Guess what the number 1 reason the classes don’t work? One of the parents has ASD too, and cannot and will not apply the new parenting skills taught. [/quote] Clearly you have no idea how this works do you? I have autism, work with kids with autism, and have taught parenting classes to parents with autism raising kids with autism. It works if it’s done right. Stop treating people with autism like they can’t learn or that they are less than capable because of some ridiculous label. You are not doing them any favors but never teaching them how to interact within society in a neurotypical way. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it takes longer. Yes, it’s expensive. Yes, it’s a ton of work. Yes, it’s worth it.[/quote] Is anyone arguing not doing this? My argument is that OP doesn’t need to worry about explaining her child’s “rude” behavior to strangers and I am suggesting that she not worry about that and instead just focus on her daughters needs. It’s a process and it doesn’t matter that some stranger may or may not be offended. [/quote] Another selfish point of view and attitude. Of course it matter that people are offended . Would it be ok if someone were to be hit if someone said something that made someone mad, like “baby pigs”? It isn’t ok on any level as other people Have the right to live in a society with rules also..rules like not being bothered or interrupted or screamed at in public. [/quote] Oh lord. We have enough to do without worrying about the feelings of strangers. One of the first and hardest lessons I learned as a SN mom is not to waste my energy on apologizing for my kid. The people demanding this have nothing to do with helping my kid and the energy I spend apologizing or feeling embarrassed is a distraction from my actual responsibilities. Sometimes it is a direct interference with what I need to do in these situations, which is focus on staying calm and on my kid. I work extremely hard and have a lot on my plate, and my job is to raise my kid as best I can in challenging circumstances. If that makes me “selfish,” I care not a bit. [/quote] This is OP. I appreciate this perspective. This seems most helpful to me. I will try to just focus on my daughter in these instances and not worry about what the stranger is thinking. I need to stay present with her to help me teach the “lesson” about what she should do different, and I also need to be ready to head off a meltdown. I can’t do all that as effectively if I’m concerned about a stranger’s reaction to her correcting them about which space mission that rocket went on. [/quote] Yes but the most important part of this lesson is how her behavior impacts others. An apology is part of that. Ideally she will learn to apologize herself. [/quote] DP. Please just stop. OP’s goal is to teacher her daughter functional and safe behaviors, not to apologize right now. And it’s really important not to shame the child in the process. The opinion of strangers offended by the comments of a 6 yr old is about #999 on OP’s list. [/quote] You just don't seem to get it. People aren't really bothered by the 6 yr old, but they will be wondering where her parents are and why they aren't keeping an eye on her. What may be mildly cute at this age will get stale real fast in a short few years. The parents may thing their "Little Professor" is adorable but not many other people will not. When you finally do come wrangle the kid away from the unsuspecting strangers a quick sorry will go a long way.[/quote] YOU don’t get it. Yes, my job is to teach my child not to interrupt/speak to strangers. But apologizing to strangers for my child is not my job. It is actually counterproductive for me to dwell on my own feelings of embarrassment instead of focusing on how I want to teach my child in the moment. I KNOW the world at large will judge my kid (no matter how successful I am at teaching him some skills). So, apologizing for my kid is farrrr down my list of priorities. [/quote] Are you someone who has trouble apologizing OP? Your behavior is modeling appropriate behavior for your child. This is all a lesson for your child. Your child sees you apologizing, and will hopefully over time learn to do it herself when appropriate. Apologizing when warranted is a life skills to function in society. [/quote] Her posts speak for themselves. “Ffs” [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics