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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Clearly some posters don't realize this is in the Special Needs & Disabilities forum and found the thread through Recent Topics. Parenting classes...ha. Hahahahahahahaha. Ha.[/quote]
NP 
Therapists all recommend parenting classes for ASD children.

Guess what the number 1 reason the classes don’t work? One of the parents has ASD too, and cannot and will not apply the new parenting skills taught. [/quote]

Clearly you have no idea how this works do you? I have autism, work with kids with autism, and have taught parenting classes to parents with autism raising kids with autism. It works if it’s done right.

Stop treating people with autism like they can’t learn or that they are less than capable because of some ridiculous  label. You are not doing them any favors but never teaching them how to interact within society in a neurotypical way.

Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it takes longer. Yes, it’s expensive. Yes, it’s a ton of work. Yes, it’s worth it.[/quote]

Is anyone arguing not doing this?

My argument is that OP doesn’t need to worry about explaining her child’s “rude” behavior to strangers and I am suggesting that she not worry about that and instead just focus on her daughters needs. It’s a process and it doesn’t matter that some stranger may or may not be offended. [/quote]

Another selfish point of view and attitude.  Of course it matter that people are offended .  Would it be ok if someone were to be hit if someone said something that made someone mad, like “baby pigs”?  It isn’t ok on any level as other people
Have the right to live in a society with rules also..rules like not being bothered or interrupted or screamed at in public.  [/quote]

Oh lord. We have enough to do without worrying about the feelings of strangers. One of the first and hardest lessons I learned as a SN mom is not to waste my energy on apologizing for my kid. The people demanding this have nothing to do with helping my kid and the energy I spend apologizing or feeling embarrassed is a distraction from my actual responsibilities. Sometimes it is a direct interference with what I need to do in these situations, which is focus on staying calm and on my kid.

I work extremely hard and have a lot on my plate, and my job is to raise my kid as best I can in challenging circumstances. If that makes me “selfish,” I care not a bit. [/quote]

This is OP. I appreciate this perspective. This seems most helpful to me. I will try to just focus on my daughter in these instances and not worry about what the stranger is thinking. I need to stay present with her to help me teach the “lesson” about what she should do different, and I also need to be ready to head off a meltdown. I can’t do all that as effectively if I’m concerned about a stranger’s reaction to her correcting them about which space mission that rocket went on. [/quote]

Yes but the most important part of this lesson is how her behavior impacts others. An apology is part of that. Ideally she will learn to apologize herself. [/quote]

DP. Please just stop. OP’s goal is to teacher her daughter functional and safe behaviors, not to apologize right now. And it’s really important not to shame the child in the process. The opinion of strangers offended by the comments of a 6 yr old is about #999 on OP’s list. [/quote]

Look I don't give a flip about the reaction of random strangers in a museum but as she grows up the OP's daughter needs to learn functional behaviors in order to interact appropriately in society. She will likely need explicit instruction with repeated practice in learning to follow social norms, and that includes apologizing to others when warranted. It's not about shaming the child at all. [/quote]

It’s not a lesson about apologizing in this scenario- apologies here would teach shame and not much else. Forced apologies by kids (SN or NT) are almost always for the gratification of adults, not teaching behaviors. I think the people fixated on forcing an apology by the kid (or worse the mom apologizing) don’t know much about systematic behavior shaping. The goal here is for the child to learn not to interrupt, not to talk to strangers, and eventually, how to handle when you disagree with what someone is saying. Focusing on the apology is a huge distraction and makes it more into a punishment than an effective teaching moment. [/quote]

Disagree.

Also disagree that you or the child are feeling any shame.  None of your posts indicate any level of remorse, shame or apology. 
Staging off Oppositional Defiant Disorder as an ASD mishap negative coping mechanism is really important. [/quote]

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