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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Daughter just got engaged!!  How soon do we start the who will pay for what discussions. Do we start with our daughter or the couple together. Any suggestions? p.s. we have never met future inlaws and it would require a plane ride to meet in person.[/quote]

Groom pays for rehearsal dinner.

Bride pays for every thing else.

If both have been working for awhile, parents should not even have to pay for weddings.[/quote]

This was never the rule, but something one group of people did. Please don't perpetuate it.[/quote]

In east coast WASP culture, this most certainly was at one time “the rule.” For many generations. [/quote]

[b]It still is the tradition here[/b].[/quote]
In certain moneyed circles. Or in circles that would like to give the appearance of having more than they do. Usually when the brides are heading for SAHM status or are very young, in my observation. [/quote]

This is not about wealth or WASPS. That was the tradition in blue collar Catholic families, in mining towns, in mill towns, etc., as well. Depending on ethnicity there were also cookie tables, community perogie making for the wedding, dollar dances with the bride, etc. etc.[/quote]

Exactly-[b]tradition was bride family-wedding, bar bill- groom's, rehearsal-groom's[/b].  Couples and each parent unit contributing what they could afford. Even decades ago it was flexible.  Ours grew due to guest list demands by DH family- felt like my parents got stiffed.   My aunts did the cookie-pastry table.

My adult DC's marrying make the decisions.  $ allocated to each whether M or F.  Since at least 1 has married we have a baseline.

How do you do 200 to 300 plus people weddings with multiple day events for 100k?
[/quote]

How far back do you consider "tradition"?[/quote]

20,000 years[/quote]

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