Reply to Does anyone else find ‘cherish these moments’ parenting advice a little traumatizing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This isn't hard.  [b]Some people appreciate hearing stuff like this.[/b] Others don't. Sometimes it's just small talk. Sometimes it's not that deep--and believe it or not, sometimes it isn't even about you. Shocking, I know. I swear, half the time the women making these types of comments are actually talking about or thinking back to their own experiences. This seems to be especially true for old ladies.

You can't police what people say, nor can you control them. You don't like the comment? Just nod or smile and be on your way. [/quote]

Literally no one has jumped on here to say "oh, I love hearing that! It's such a good reminder." The range is - "meh, no biggie" to the woman on page 4, crying 10 times a day and saying that comments like this made her life harder.

Everyone recognizes that you can't control other people. But the point of this thread is - hey, if you're saying this, maybe stop and here's why. [/quote]

If everyone recognizes that they can't control other people, then why are you on here telling others to stop saying things? How does that make any sense?

And even if no one on this particular thread has said they enjoy hearing these types of comments, it doesn't follow that everyone everywhere feels the same. [/quote]

NP. The point of DCUM, really, is that this is where you CAN anonymously vent and say the things you wouldn't say to a stranger, but if the collective wisdom is pointing toward stop being annoying, maybe stop. Like, YES, most of us did (and do) just blandly smile when some random stranger was yammering on with unsolicited advice or just-you-waits. That's the response in real life. Got it.

But here we get to say why it was annoying. And we can commiserate a bit. And yeah, give some other insight and perspective. But maybe if you're defensive and uncomfortable because you don't like that the general consensus is that you are annoying if you are the Smug Older Mommy sort, you could reevaluate the way you interact with...people you don't even know.[/quote]

Sure, you get to say why it's annoying (actually, I believe the word was "traumatizing.") Just like those of who also find it annoying but refuse to get all worked up about it get to say, hey, maybe it's not that big of a deal and you're just taking it too personally--and you should reevaluate your reaction to stuff like this.  That's a valid perspective, too.  [/quote]

Not the PP- but I think the point is, the best anyone can say for these comments is that they’re a little annoying but NBD. So it can be like, a PSA to the older moms posting on here who are saying they say these things and people need to just take them in the spirit in which they were intended. Bht- now they know- the consensus is that they aren’t appreciated. The more you know! That sort of thing.[/quote]

Not every poster saying its NBD is an older mom, you know. [/quote]

That’s not what I said.

But go on continuing to make tone deaf comments to strangers. We will continue to smile and laugh and nod and then roll our eyes afterwords. [/quote]

It's cute that you think the people who disagree with you are the same ones making these comments. [/quote]

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