Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] Telling your kids dad or mom had an affair and doesn't love me the same way they used to is healthy and true and much better than harboring resentment for years[/quote]

It’s about the kids. Not your resentment as the priority.[/quote]

I don't hide from my kids bad things that happen in life. I don't pretend anything for them. Idon't want them to think we split up for any old reason. That's not fair to the marriage or to their feeling of security. I don't make a big deal of it, but I also don't hide it. How surprising that cheaters think hiding cheating is a solution. Stop hiding things and being sneaky and maybe people will have more respect for you.[/quote]

Lots of us aren't cheaters, we're the children of divorced people who put us in the middle of their crap for our whole freaking lives.[/quote]

Well you seem to be doing the same thing you are telling your mom or dad not to do. Being bitter. Get over it then. Tell your truth. You were hurt by the divorce or the bad talk or whatever you felt towards other people and get on with it. It will free you. You were not responsible for their actions. You also don't own their actions and feelings so stop asking them to have the same feelings as you. They don't. They are people with their own faults and feelings and you don't need to be accountable to them or expect them or yourself to be perfect. Some things particularly infidelity are unfixable. That's why people were stoned to death and it's actually an at-fault reason for divorce. People do not need to hold onto the secrets of others - period.[/quote]

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