Reply to What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve known a couple of these guys through work.  In my experience, they try to look for much younger women to hook up with.  A surprising number fall for catfishing scams, two were fired for sexual harassment in the workplace, and a couple remarried a much younger woman and started a second, younger family.  [/quote]

Uhhhh... any guy who can hook up with or marry a much younger woman is NOT a dud.[/quote]

Oh yeah?  So, by your definition, any guy in his forties that your college age daughter decides to date is, by definition, a great guy?  She’s got your approval?[/quote]

Whatever you may think about it morally, the fact is that a guy in his forties who can attract a college girl is NOT a dud. In fact he has to be exceptionally attractive in some way in order to get her interest at all.[/quote]

I think you didn’t have any platonic female friends in your college years. If you did you’d know a lot more about what kind of 30 and 40 somethings who sniffed around girls that age, and what the well-adjusted girls thought of them. The thing that was attractive about them was usually love bombing and manipulation. [/quote]

Somehow he's attracting them wrong  :roll: and they're wrong for being attracted.  :roll: Whatever.

But that doesn't change the fact that he is not a dud. [/quote]

Serial killers often had many girlfriends out of prison and even more behind bars. You have one bizarre definition of “dud.” By “dud” I mean “not a good guy,” not “manifestly repelling to all women no matter how disturbed the women are.” Maybe we can call them “losers” instead? Will that work for you?[/quote]

What's bizarre about the definition of a dud as "not attractive"? That was the basic definition of dud offered by the OP. That is the basic reason the dud husbands are divorced - their wives were no longer attracted to them. If a guy is attractive to other women after he gets divorced, it is perfectly reasonable to ask how much of a dud was he, really.

What is truly bizarre is you equating divorced older men who date younger women to serial killers, and the younger women to the disturbed women who chase prison inmates. You're pretty twisted if you think there is absolutely no possibility that a "good guy" could date a nice, normal younger woman.

The term "loser" doesn't really work. I know high-achieving men who are definitely not "good guys" - not least because they have cheated on more than one wife - but I would not call them losers or duds. Bad boys at both ends of the economic and intelligence spectrum are many things, but they are not duds. They are exciting, that's why women are attracted to them.[/quote]

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