Reply to Husband cheated with high school sweetheart

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband cheated with high school sweetheart"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I often wonder why these threads have so much talk about the husband needing therapy to address cheating. The guy did what he did because he wasn’t happy or wanted variety and gave into temptation that was appealing because in some cases the woman gave his attention and the experience felt fresh. I’d call him weak for giving in but I wouldn’t insist it’s always due to his traumatic childhood or that he must be psychologically broken because he slept with someone else. No diagnosis needed. People do this deliberately. They want to cheat snd get away with it. The opportunity was there.

When women cheat they usually don’t go running to therapy. Could you just imagine a man telling another man oh my Larla cheated, I’ve a great therapist to help you two stay together. Hell no. It’s chalked up to an exit affair. How many women who have cheated even declare they need therapy? I doubt most husbands would even consider that as a remedy. The husband files for divorce and that’s the end of it. Or she runs off with the AP and lives the life she wants (usually never ends that way). And the world sees her as a whore. Most husbands get off easy because their wives sweep it up with a therapist. [/quote]

Well said.

If you are a single man and seek sex it's healthy and normal. If you are married and lonely and seek sek it's because you are a broken loon who has a massive defect.

Monogamy is hard, and it's really, really hard for men and darn near impossible if he isn't in a loving marriage. Women don't understand this and I envy them. [/quote]

If you would actually go to therapy you would know that therapy isn't for "broken loons who have massive defects." It's for flawed people, which means literally everyone. And do you really think it's any more healthy and normal for a married man to have an affair than it is for a single man to...not have an affair? If you do then goodness gracious what on earth does marriage mean to you? Why get married at all if you think it doesn't mean you have obligations to your spouse?

It's hilarious that you don't think monogamy is hard for women. [/quote]

[b]Most men could benefit from therapy because they don't have male best friends to bond with. Not all! just a lot. We don't value male emotions and friendships, so they suffer. And the reason men go to therapy is becuase their wives want them to[/b] ... because their wife is going to stay with them. If women are having exit affairs what is the point of therapy? She's really just out of there.

My SO (male) is a man who doesn't have close male friends. I wish he did so he'd have somebody to talk with about male emotional things. I'm too close to the situation. But a therapist would fit the bill. A paid friend and confidant.

Monogamy is hard for almost everybody. [/quote]

My husband has good friends, but they don't talk about deep feelings, fears, insecurities.  His best friend is a cheater so there's that too.  He isn't sympathetic to being monogamous so it's not like he can discuss that with him.  He has pretty much pulled away as this guy has turned out at 50 to be much different than he sees himself, doesn't condone the cheating.[/quote]

DP, not the one to whom you're replying. Just to say, my own DH is like yours--his once-good friend who was his best man carried on a long affair and DH completely pulled away. DH essentially picked the wife, who was our close friend, over the husband who cheated. Decent guys who are monogamous don't want to be around the selfishness of men who cheat. If DH had not cut off this former friend, I'd have had some real issues with DH. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics