Reply to SIL wants us to write her girls letters at camp

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Reply to "SIL wants us to write her girls letters at camp"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have to? No. But why wouldn’t you? It will take a few minutes and put a huge smile on your niece’s face. [/quote]

Why won’t my husband? [/quote]
[b]Because this sort of thing is a female thing. So is (in general), remembering birthdays and anniversaries[/b]. And women create these situations, and then get mad when their men forget to do it or don't do it the way the woman wanted it done.

I'm a wife of 20+ years, and believe that once you see it the way I've outlined above, it can only benefit you, and save you from being angry in these situations.[/quote]

It’s 1950s outdated sexist trash and “benefits” no one.[/quote]

+100  I blame a lot of this on the rwnjs who are trying to put women in their place back in 1950.[/quote]

Wow.  some of you guys are just ADAMENT about not having a relationship with your DH's side of the family.  Which, to be honest, feels like you're just setting yourselves up for failure[/quote]

DP.  Failure?  What failure?  Not writing postcards doesn't mean I don't have or don't want a relationship with my DH's side of the family.  What I DO want is to be able to have relationships on my terms, not what is dictated by someone else, especially people who hold outdated, patriarchal attitudes about the role of women - that includes women with those attitudes.  If my DH's family don't like what I bring to a relationship and how I bring it, fine.  Choices should be respected. [/quote]

Relationships are give and take, never solely on one side’s terms.  And the relationship here in question is between OP and her niece/nephews.[/quote]

Sure, but it's OP's SIL that's directing people to write.  If writing a letter/postcard isn't OP's love language, she can easily find another way to foster the relationship - if she chooses.  It's not like this is a one time opportunity.  And, we all get to decide what we want to invest/do in a relationship.  If the other person doesn't find that agreeable, they can choose to disengage.  Each person has choices. [/quote]

SIL isn’t directing people, please.  This is pretty standard - the camp lets the parents know the address for camp care packages and letters, then the parent shares that information with the extended family and encourages them to write.  OP’s SIL is acting like pretty much every other camp parent on earth.[/quote]

Except that's not how OP feels about it. She understands it as a direction to write, not an invitation.  Not everyone has the same family dynamics that you do [/quote]

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