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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there’s one perspective missing from this thread, and that is the possibility that when the wife takes over the in-law responsibility, it might weaken the husband’s relationship with his own family.

I’m a wife that never picked up the rope, so my DH has always done the communicating and gift giving for his family.  And i think this has helped him stay close to them.  He does care that he sees them and that they get gifts from us so he calls them and  needs to know their lives and schedules and so forth to coordinate all of that.  If i had always done that for him, he wouldn’t have all those conversations and bonds.

I also find it interesting the responses that are saying that women who don’t hold the rope have in law issues.  How does that even make sense? I have no issues with my in laws, i enjoy seeing them.  I just don’t plan it.

Anyway, just my 2 cents.  I do think its much harder on relationships to drop the rope than to never pick it up and that probably requires more graciousness so that the in laws don’t take it as big FU.  [/quote]

Exactly. I never picked up the rope. I see my inlaws at least once a month. I love them and they love me — but I don’t organize all this stuff with them.[/quote]

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