Reply to If you were beaten as a child….

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's interesting how we now make up what abuse is.[/quote]

Says the child beating ahole.[/quote]

I mean I don’t do that. But tapping a child on the bottom is not abuse. [/quote]

Tapping a child on the bottom or slapping the hand is not spanking or beating.[/quote]

So if your husband did that to you, it would be ok, right? [/quote]

How is a husband the equivalent of a small child? [/quote]

That wasn’t the analogy, because the equivalent of the patent would be the husband. The analogy was one human being controlling another with physical force.

I didn’t write that comment and I think it’s oversimplified, but it is surprising to me how easily people dismiss the idea that kids are human beings. It’s like we think we can mistreat them just because they are smaller and haven’t learned as much. I don’t think we should treat them differently than any adult are charged with caring. [/quote]

I don't think physical force is necessary, but kids are not adults. We should absolutely care but[b] no one ever provides real examples of how to actually discipline[/b]. Not for little ones doing silly things but real things like consistently lying in children 8-14. I struggle with this because I want to show love and care but I also need to convey why it's important not to lie and manipulate and disrespect elders. [/quote]

Many of us who were "spanked", or otherwise corporally punished, strongly urge that parents not do that to their kids. When it comes to discipline advice, that will vary, depending on the parent's expectations. We should have age appropriate expectations for behavior. You can't expect your preschooler to act lije an adult. They are children. Read books about child development to understand the stage your child is in. The best advice I ever received about discipline children was adjust your expectations and choose your battles wisely. I will add to never act while you are angry. Take time to calm down. Walk away and/or send your kid to their room. The punishment should fit the infraction, so be smart in deciding. Don't strike your child. They are smaller than you and, one day soon, they will be bigger and stronger than you. Keep that in mind as you bring them up into adulthood.[/quote]

Thanks for this, but again no one ever gives real examples of how to change behaviors. I do this and great it works in the moment. But I'm constantly doing it. So I guess the answer is you just wash, rinse, and repeat. It sounds like the goal is to do this but not to necessarily change behavior which is what I am trying to do. But maybe the answer isn't changed behavior based on these comments.[/quote]

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