Reply to Purdue President’s Op-Ed

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "Purdue President’s Op-Ed"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it’s an important read for many on DCUM — don’t be like the moms he references.  Let your college kids figure stuff out on their own!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/06/mothers-day-helicopter-parenting/[/quote]

OP, are you a woman? You shoud be ashamed of yourself if you are. We have got to take the country and our lives back from these sexist, mysoginist pigs. What a hateful, horrible

man. If my kid were at Purdue (he's not, he's at a top 10 university, t thankfully), I would not pay another dime of tuition until this man releases a apology. Shameful.[/quote]

OP here.  Yes, I am a woman.  Do you think the actual requests and commands that he mentions are appropriate?  I hear this type of thing over and over from people who work in colleges and even at workplaces.  The infantalizing of our adult children has to stop.[/quote]

[b]But not a single mention of men.[/b] It's mean-spirited at best but more accurately a reflection of the diretion this country is headed. We are no longer moving forward as women. I feel it in my life everyday. Being belittled and looked down on by men. So some moms can't let go. Of course I believe that. But so the hell what? Why do I care? I don't do that. What I do see everyday is my husband leaving every single aspect of parenting to me. Treating me as if I'm the hire help, even as I hold down a full-time, WOH job, and he doesn't. This guy is a sexist and is joining the whilte men chorus in taking women back down. Wake up.[/quote]

You obviously didn't read the op-ed. While I am no fan of the former Indiana governor, I have been a professor for 20 years, and I empathize with the sentiment expressed in the op-ed. 90% of the parental involvement, nay, intrusion, with regard to college student experience comes from mothers. I'm sure this is due to a number of sociological and cultural factors, but yes, moms need to back off. [/quote]

I'm a professor too--have taught at 3 very different kinds of institutions over 2 decades.  Be honest what percentage of parental involvement have you experienced directly?  Total up your students.  Give a percentage of how many you have taught that you have had ANY contact with their parents outside of graduation, let alone egregious involvement.  Your 90% figure is meaningless a commentary on moms, if it's anywhere like mine,  less than 1% of my students.[/quote]

Right on professor! That first "professor" clearly isn't one at my child's prestigious university, because they lack any ability for critical thinking. Obviously another woman-hating man. [/quote]

Critical thinking goes both ways. I'd be wary of arguing with "only a few." If a college had only a handful of transgender students, and the president wrote an op-ed about policies enacted to protect those students, would you also say that only 1% is meaningless? [/quote]

Your point makes no sense. The issue is the making a commentary about "moms" and then describing the behavior of a few "moms" he finds problematic when the reality is that anyone who works in higher ed knows this represents a tiny percentage of students' mothers.  This isn't like protecting the interests of a small minority like transgender students.

I have a similar less than 1% of students who complain about their grades, give excuses I find laughable, make unreasonable demands like me recounting all we covered in a class that they missed. Does that mean I should write commentaries on how my students as a whole need to be less annoying and entitled?  Should I comment that it tends to be the white men who do this more and therefore extend that to my critique of white male students writ large?  No, it means like all social situations there are going to be a few people whose behavior I find problematic and I complain about their individual behaviors and not extend it to the group to which I think they belong.[/quote]

Um, professors, I don’t think any of you understood the first professor’s post. They said 90% of parental involvement comes from mothers. Not that 90% of their students’ mothers get involved. It could be 90% of your 1% for that professor. [/quote]

That was exactly my point.  The prior professor agreed with the op-ed  that "moms need to back off"  because 90% of their experience of  parental involvement was moms.  But never clarified what the overall percentage of parental involvement was.  If it's less than 1% of parents involved at all, it is bad reasoning to think that they have anything meaningful to comment on "moms" as a broad category.[/quote]

I'm the first professor. There are a lot of things that involve just a tiny, tiny percentage of students, but take up a disproportionate amount of mental energy--like moms emailing professors about their child's low grade. The vast majority of my students' parents are hands off, but I have had a handful of nightmare scenarios with parents, in my case 100% moms, who were massive drains on my time and energy. On a couple of occasions, their complaints would escalate up to chairs, then deans, and on up. If you're an assistant professor or an adjunct, these sorts of complaints cause a tremendous amount stress because you are afraid of losing your job over it.
As I said, I'm not a fan of the Purdue president, but I don't know of a single long-time professor who hasn't had an experience with a disgruntled parent. 
Yes, the president does sound old and out-of-touch with his mother's day rhetoric, but the point of helicopter moms is not completely off base.[/quote]

Sure, out of my decades as a professor I've had a couple encounters with disgruntled parents (as well as students, administrators, colleagues) who absorb far more energy than they should. This is the case in any workplace--the disgruntled few absorb far more energy than the vast majority.  But as a tiny percentage,  they represent themselves not some larger category--I can't make judgments on moms, dads, race, gender etc. based on what a few people do.  Surely you grasp this if you are a professor.
[/quote]

I don't think that the Purdue president is trying to disparage all mothers. He begins with [b]an overly fawning and romanticized description of mothers, [/b]but then goes into the few that end up being the focus of the op-ed. I would personally be in favor of a policy that told professors to immediately disregard all parental contact. But, of course, no university will do that for fear of eliminating donations.[/quote]

DP. Which was, of course, deeply sexist.

I’d be fine with a policy like you suggest and yet based on this, I’d never send a child to Purdue because of the remarkably blatant sexism on display from the head of the whole school. I’d be worried about her safety. If she was groped by a professor during office hours (happened to my college roommate so this is something I lived up close), I don’t see how an administration led by someone as comfortable with casual sexism as this president is would be trustworthy. [/quote]

Look, the article is tone deaf, even if [b]it makes a valid point about helicopter moms[/b]. However, I wouldn't give up on an entire university based on this op-ed. If your daughter were sexually harassed by a prof, there's a significant chance that the president wouldn't even hear about it. Most professors, even at a place like Purude, are politically liberal, don't condone sexual harassment of any kind, and will stand up for students who are wronged by faculty.[/quote]

It tells stories of a few crazed helicopter moms and says they are a problem. I hardly think that's a meaningful valid point--more like 'aren't these obviously ridiculous things ridiculous.'  followed by casual sexism and generalizations.  
And leadership at a university matters and it does shape how concerns are addressed and heard.  Accusations of sexual harassment/assault are dealt with by administrators and hr, not fellow faculty.  [/quote]

The [b]overall message out of this editorial of endemic sexism at Purdue is not what the author intended but which is useful to understand[/b]. [/quote]

I'm really surprised someone didn't stop him from publishing this.  There's zero upside and a whole lot of downside.  They already struggle so much to attract/keep female students.  Casual sexism on the part of the president just plays into all the stereotypes that will prevent their success.[/quote]

Adding: They were already nudging close to the 60% mark of gender imbalance that often then marks a turning point in ever trying to attract a more even group.  I have a high achieving (so far) DD sophomore who will likely be looking into CS/Engineering programs--I showed her the op-ed and it seemed sexist and way outdated to her (even as she said the examples of moms also seemed crazy).   I was going to suggest Purdue be among the schools we visit on our trip to visit midwestern relatives this summer since its engineering program is so highly ranked, but we both just got a bad taste from this.  Fortunately, she already has plenty of other great U's she wants to look at in the midwest (currently UIUC, CWRU, U of M).   [/quote]

Yeah, I showed this to my junior son who skimmed it and then shrugged and said “ok so that one’s out.” [/quote]
Good job mom! You should be proud.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics