Reply to Controlling mother + DH ongoing conflicts

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[quote=Anonymous]OP your husband is abusive. I think your parents have clearly adjusted their behavior to prevent your being isolated from them. Because if your mom was really controlling, she would not be acquiescing in these texts. If someone texted me like that over dishes I would be livid, and I am not a controlling full of myself person, which is what it sounds like everyone is saying your parents are.

Your parents are seeing that you are being isolated and they are doing what everyone says to do when you suspect someone you love is in an abusive relationship. They are not walking away so you do not get isolated. They are bending over backwards to stay in the picture.

What bad things did they say about him before? Was their first tactic to confront you directly or to talk in depth with family members about how concerned they were about him? And then he found out and tried to use that to drive you apart? And then it started working so they changed directions and are just going to be as pleasant as possible to avoid having you become estranged and completely in his grip?

Your husband's behavior is objectively controlling and abusive. As others have said no context improves them. And possibly, the context might show that this has been a progressively building abuse.

How is he with your friends OP? Is there something wrong with all of them too? Do you have to show him texts to your girlfriends if you mention him? How many important people in your life other than him does he tolerate? Or is he constantly undermining all of those relationships?

You need to leave, this is someone who could become dangerous. Do not have a baby with him. When you have a baby you will see the danger he poses more clearly because your baby becomes more important than your own safety. But then it will be too late to shield that child.[/quote]

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