Reply to Britney Spears pregnant with 3rd child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]While I'm very happy that Britney is happy (she deserves it after what she has been through) I can never be excited about a child being born under circumstances like this.

My mom also had a very difficult life, with abusive parents. She really wanted to be a mom and was thrilled to have me and my siblings. And she was a pretty bad mom to us.

What I learned as an adult is that while your childhood trauma isn't your fault, you have a responsibility to address it. It's frustrating. My childhood trauma was caused by my parents' childhood trauma. It wasn't my fault and in a way it wasn't theirs either. And yet there it is.

I think it would have been better for her to take more time (out of the public eye) to process what happened to her and come to terms with it, and then either try to conceive (with money, you can conceive very late and have a healthy baby) or go the surrogate or adoption route. Is this "fair" to Britney? No, none of this is fair to her. But in choosing to have this baby now, she is making it very likely that she will be dealing with past trauma while trying to parent a young child. Even with money, this is bad for the child. So waiting and addressing her own issue first would be most fair to the child. And that's whose needs have to be paramount in this situation because they are completely powerless.

Life is deeply unfair but having a baby doesn't solve that, it just kicks the can down the road. I wound up in therapy/recovery for twenty years before being very fortunate to have one very wanted child in my 40s. Every day I am grateful to my younger self, and my therapist, for doing the work then so that I can be the parent I want to be now. [/quote]

Plenty of bad mothers with or without past trauma. Just believing you’re a great mom doesn’t make you one. We have no idea if Britney will be a good mom, but she has the resources to ensure her kids are cared for and the child also has a father. The kid will be fine. [/quote]

Money isn’t everything. Having stable parents is extremely important.   She hasn’t been a very competent or involved mother to her current kids, so why have another?  If she isn’t capable of getting back at least 50-50 custody of them now, then she should not be having another kid. [/quote]

You can’t be a very good mother yourself if you don’t understand that not demanding 50/50 custody is the kindest thing she can do with older teen boys. She is giving up her time with them not to disrupt their schedules. She is putting her own ego aside for their sakes. [/quote]

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