Reply to How to talk to 9yo about overeating

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If overeating is a big issue, here's what I would suggest and it all centers around healthy eating habits that can be sustainable for the rest of her life.

- Figure out as many ways to incorporate fruits and vegetables and fiber into the diet.  Maybe she likes veggies crunchy and raw, maybe she likes them sauteed.  Maybe she likes to eat fruit before dinner, or for breakfast - maybe there are certain fruits she likes better.  Aim for 5 a day.  There are a lot of delicious healthy recipes for whatever kind of palate she might have

- Incorporate lean protein and complex carbs into daily diet.

- Keep junk food and candy out of the house, especially the prepackaged kind.  If you want a treat, go out as a family together for ice cream.  Feel free to get occasional fries or chips when you are out at a game or wherever.  Also feel free to cook together occasionally to make homemade treats.

- Invite her to participate in meal planning and cooking.

- Never talk about "bad foods" or "good foods".  You can say that veggies and fruits are chock full of nutrients that help her body grow and get stronger and it's important to eat them every day.  You can also say that some foods have less of those wonderful nutrients, so you shouldn't fill up on them.  In general, don't make food such a big focus on your daily lives.  Eat to live, don't live to eat.

- If portions are a problem, just make enough food for your family and portion out your plates for dinner.  If they are still hungry and want seconds, there is none left, but make sure there are plenty of fruit and veggies available if they are still hungry.

- Talk during meals, it slows the eating down.  Keep it light and positive.

- Water only, no juices or sugary drinks.

- Be good role models for healthy and balanced (not restrictive) eating habits and positive body image

- Be active as a family on the weekends and after school if possible. 
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This is good in theory but impractical.  Kids can overeat anything, but they especially like the carb stuff that nearly all households have: cereal, pretzels, granola bars, bread, pasta, rice. And high calorie foods like nuts, cheese, BP, avocados.  While don’t have “junk” food, you still may need to say no, you can’t have a second bowl of plain cheerios or a second bowl of nuts, or no to a second giant handful of cashews.  And cooking meals with “no leftovers”ever  isn’t practical either and nearly impossibly to do.

And while the “good/bad” food thing is popular no no saying, it shouldn’t be.  Maybe you don’t have to specifically use the words good and bad, but you do need to explain why you can have as much broccoli as your heart desires, but you shouldn’t do that with Snickers.  Why you should only eat one serving of ice cream and cake at a birthday and not “as much as you want”  Kids need to know.  Especially if “as much as they want to eat” is really too much

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Yep. In my house  you can add more green beans or whatever vegetable is being offered. If you are still not full, there are always apples, oranges and bananas. and you can have apples, oranges and/or bananas anytime you want -- there are no restrictions on those. But you are definitely not eating as much rice as you want.

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This is so toxic. There is nothing wrong with rice, and a banana is not better for you than rice is. Why should a hungry kid who’s just had sports practice eat 3 apples instead of an extra serving of rice? Also, rice is boring - anyone who’s given the opportunity to “binge” on rice is going to get bored of it pretty fast. You make it exciting by restricting it.[/quote]

So you wouldn’t have any issue with your clinically overweight kid having a third serving of rice at dinner? [/quote]

I have a lot of questions about this scenario. Why is my kid overweight? If they weren’t active that day, why are they eating so much rice - is it a hormonal thing? An emotional thing? And also, what is wrong with me that [b]I’m cooking boatloads of rice for one meal t[/b]han policing how much people eat? Ultimately, it doesn’t seem like the answer in this scenario is just to tell the kid no more rice.[/quote]

So you would restrict by cooking less rice. Isn't that still restricting? What happens when your child decides she can just cook more rice than you would cook?

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I’m going to make approximately the amount of rice I think my family wants to eat. If I have one child, overweight or not, who always eats a lot of rice, I’ll probably make extra and let them eat it. Or if one meal I make too much rice and there is a lot leftover, I’ll make less next time. Again, why would I routinely make too much rice - enough that this extra rice is supposedly making my child overweight - but then refuse it to anyone in my family? [b]Is there someone else in my family who does “deserve” the extra rice? If so, why[/b]?[/quote]

Maybe you should tell us since you are the one bringing up family members who "deserve" extra rice. What a strange interpretation!

You can keep rice in the fridge for the next day, you know. You don't have to pick who gets extras and who doesn't.

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I don’t mean anyone “deserves” it - but I’m guessing if a “skinny” kid wanted the extra rice, PP’s would let them have it. But I do think it’s weird to pack away the extra rice if someone else has asked for it, unless I have a specific use for it.[/quote]

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