Reply to Less successful sister is acting like she's the de facto owner of dad's beach house

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[quote=Anonymous]Sounds like your dad is over 70 years old and living on his own after your mom's death and a long marriage.  And sounds like your sister visits him more and helps (or "helps") with renovations and projects he has going on around the house.

You call every night but if you aren't visiting physically as much you may not have as good an understanding of the physical and mental deterioration that might be occurring.

Have you discussed who or how you might plan to take care of your dad as he ages?  If he is going to try to age in place, your sister being there and actually taking care of him in his home probably would warrant her to a larger share of the house or inheritance, and maybe that is work she can do and work you cannot do given your respective schedules.

Just a heads up not to look down or fault your sister for potentially loving care she is able to give your dad which you can not.  Is she trying to weasel her way into a greater share of the house?  I don't know.  But is your need for absolute equity blinding you to her service to your dad?

We have some of these issues in my family.  My parents chose to be taken care of by eldest son who doesn't have kids, even though money is still being split pretty evenly.  I need to be careful not to overstep as a daughter who loves her folks alot.  Your dad hasn't "chosen" here, but at 70 years old or more, he is going to start to need help and if you're not admitting that you've got a blind spot.  If your sister IS seeing that, and is helping him by more in person visits than you are giving, you need to either up your visits so you understand your dad's true mental/physical health situation or gracefully acknowledge that your sister is actually providing a service to your dad and the rest of the family by actually being there IN PERSON for his senior years, even if she doesn't make as much money as you.  At our ages, time with loved ones is just as precious as money.[/quote]

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