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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do a lot of research about (domestic) open adoptions. Realize the life-long implications of having the birth parent(s) and their extended families involved in your child's life, and if that is something you are willing to take on. [/quote]

We only want to do closed adoption.

Is it only possibly trough international adoption?[/quote]

Totally closed adoption is not considered best for the child. Not sure how hard it would be to find an agency that allows it.

The child is likely to have questions down the line, and it is best if they have a road to getting them answered.

Some birth parents opt for little contact.

The worst is when it could be open, but birth parents just fade away (of their own choosing). Because then they knew the child and rejected them. [/quote]

Trust me, that is far from the worst in open adoption.  The unthinkable happened to us.[/quote]

IMO our family member's open adoption situation is a ticking time bomb. Bio family was welcomed to be involved from birth and they blew that door wide open with extreme involvement. They've made it publicly clear over and over that this is THEIR family's child. It's almost as if the adoptive parents are nothing more than caregivers.  [/quote]

The child IS their family’s child.  It is also the adoptive family’s child.  That is not a ticking time bomb.  That is TRUTH.  It can be as fraught as blended families or divorced families or dealing with in-laws.  But it is worth it when it goes well.  And it is worth it even if it doesn’t go smoothly, because it is reality. Legal fictions like falsified birth certificates do not negate the reality that family is family.  My two sisters lost yo me through adoption came into my life when I was in my 20s and 40s respectively.  I am closer to my 2nd sister now than any other family member, after only knowing her a few years.  We connect.  Our families click.  That doesn’t always happen, just like families raised together don’t always mesh, but it’s family.  [/quote]

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