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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Tell me about adoption "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a friend who is adopted — private, international — who always knew she wanted to adopt herself (didn’t want to be pregnant and doesn’t like babies). She preferred to go with an open adoption through foster care with an older child. Her own experience and [b]all the research suggests that open adoptions are much healthier for adoptees [/b]and I know not having the option to find her birth family has been difficult for her even though she loves her adoptive parents very much. She fostered two siblings and has since adopted one of them. I think she’s an excellent parent and adores her daughter but I do know it was harder than she expected. She currently lives with her husband and her parents and says having four adults to one child feels like the right ratio to her. So y’know. Definitely can be a challenge. As with any parenting journey having help (family or paid) can be helpful.[/quote] If you have sources for this please post links! [b]Open adoptions are relatively new[/b] and I'd be interested to see longitudinal studies especially those that include input from now young-adult adoptees. Also any statistics on the relevance of how open adoption was. (Was it just knowledge of who birth family is, occasional contact with birth family via photo/visits/phone, or full-on immersion with birth family throughout their lives.) Interesting to know how the level of openness affects outcomes for entire family including adoptive parents, not solely adoptees. [/quote] My comment was based on a foster-adopt info session I attended and internet research I did several years ago and the experiences of a friend (above) and family member who had totally closed adoptions and wanted to seek out their birth families as adults. But I found this paper just now that seems to get into some of what you’re asking: https://health.uconn.edu/adoption-assistance/wp-content/uploads/sites/68/2016/07/2012_03_OpennessInAdoption.pdf. My understanding is the research suggests that not having the option to learn about your birth family is not ideal. Beyond that, I think degrees of openness might depend on all the people involved and what’s healthiest for everyone? Obviously infant adoption is quite different than adopting eg a tween or teen.[/quote] Actually it is closed adoptions that are relatively new. The concept as a widespread practice dates back only to the Georgia Tann days of baby stealing at the early part of the Baby-Scoop era. That’s less than 100 years ago. Before that, the vast majority of “adoptions” were family members or other extended kin or community members who might take in a more direct parent role while the actual biological parent was unable or unavailable to parent, or dead. But kinship ties would be maintained. Sometimes surnames would be changed, for legal reasons or inheritance, but there were no falsified birth certificates, no secrets. Adoption as a widespread method of “treating” infertility by obtaining infants completely stripped of their identities and kinship bonds is VERY new in humankind, and has been shown to be very traumatic and deeply damaging yo many adoptees and to the families whose members were lost to them through adoption. [/quote] Very interesting points.[/quote]
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