Reply to At what HHI did you stop feeling middle class?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve always thought I had a funny view on class bc I was born to upper class parents who had lost all the money. So we went through vvv dry periods and could 1000% not keep up with the Jones’s, but the “class” part of it was super influential. Some of it was attitude, some of it was privledge.

Privilege part—we always vacationed for the summer in a house I bring my kids to now on the New England coast. It was my great grandparents place.

My parents only sent us to private schools and jumped through hoops to get us on scholarships. It was a forgone conclusion we would go to private, to the ones they went to.

On the other hand, our cars broke down all the time. We didn’t have a nice house. They worried legitimately about money a lot.

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What is your stance on all this as an adult? Will you forego what they did to send kids to private, etc? To me, private is a luxury I would consider once all college and retirement savings are set (which isn’t the case). I wouldn’t want to end up not having enough for college because we spent on private school. I know you said you got scholarships but our incomes aren’t low enough for that. I also don’t want my kids to be the poorest in a rich school. [/quote]

You actually nailed my exact take away for my kids. Our kids are 1000% public and part of it was that the toll of keeping us in our schools was such a discussion in our house. My parents would yell about money and we’d be told every year that we had to be pulled out…and then randomly it would work last minute  somehow. There was so much weird shit about being the first generation w no money that they have such hang ups and I do too, although I’ve done a lot of work digging into them and airing it all out so I don’t get weird about it.

That social chameleon stuff is v relatable, very well mannered and I know the ins and outs of etiquette, I’ve been to a lot of fancy places by proxy invites. Like I can def def hang. But money and it’s implications have taken up an inappropriate level of space in our family over the years. [/quote]

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