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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it sounds more complicated. I personally would want to rest in my own room if things got overwhelming. I’m sure she set it up that way because they’ll just leave after 30 minutes. I think that’s fine, but she’s not being honest about it, unless she said it was probably just a drive by. [/quote]

I understand that might be what you want.  I find it hard to imagine what it’s like to find that your brain doesn’t work like it used to.  DH doesn’t react to being overwhelmed by getting sleepy and wanting to go off.  He gets confused and irritable and agitated.  [b]He does best with a walk or a drive or a change of scenery.  That will be easier to make happen if I am not also hosting a ton of people.
[/b]
My hope would be that we’ll come and do presents and then he’ll take some kind of break and be back for the meal.  Maybe that will be too long, we’ll play it by ear.

The sibling hosting has a good sense of what to expect.  They’ll be fine with whatever happens.  There has been no dishonesty.  The sibling who is objecting does not have realistic expectations, but that’s not because I have been dishonest.[/quote]

But, you wouldn't be hosting. Wouldn't your inlaws? I'm sure your SIL would be fine if you and DH left for awhile. I really was on your side, but you really sound difficult the more you post. This is just a vent about your SIL. We get it. [/quote]

I do the cooking and cleaning.  That's the deal of us living here.  I do the caretaking stuff they can no longer do.  They provide childcare.  We both save some money.

But no, I'd need to come up with 3 more meals, and figure out sleeping arrangements, and change all the sheets, etc . . . I work full time,  My only day off for Christas is Friday which would be the day they come.  [/quote]

OP, tell the family members to bring air mattresses and their own bedding and towels for the extra guests.  Assign them each a meal or parts of a meal and let them be responsible.   You don't 100% of this on your own.   Order pizza if no one will cook.  Or, get some premade stuff at costco.[/quote]

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