Reply to What is with DCUM women and "mental loads?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not new, and it's not exclusive to DCUM. Who in your household keeps track of birthdays, doctors appointments, clothing sizes, early dismissals, permission slips, camp signups, holiday cards, and meal planning? Does that person also have a paid job?[/quote]

I do all of this and have a paid job. It's not hard. Why do women seem to struggle with it?

-- Single Dad.

[/quote]

If this isn’t hard for you, you are either superdad or crummy at your job and at parenting. [/quote]

Do you always think in such binary terms?

I'm no "superdad" but I am a good, if imperfect one.

I'm a top performer at work in a senior executive role.

My kids are older teens now and I've taught them to take on more responsibility for themselves. They make their own doctors and dental appointments now, for example and even go alone unless I am required to be there because they are minors. They know the birthdays of their family members. They also know when bills are due (contribute to their phone and car insurance expenses) and each kid prepares one family meal per week (DD1 has Tuesdays and DD2 does Thursdays).

I guided DD1 on college applications, but served more as a consultant and adviser -- she did it all herself.

DD2 initiated her driving behind the wheel tests.

If they need permission slips or early dismissals, they talk to me and we get it done.

Again, some of this is tedious, but it's not really HARD, let alone mentally taxing.

[/quote]

Well duh, because your kids are old enough that they could take up the slack. If they were in elementary school, your life would be very different. Why on earth would you weigh in on this when the women complaining aren’t talking about high school kids? Guess what? Parenting will be even easier for you when your kids are in their 40s, but it will still be challenging for parents of toddlers.[/quote]

You can't possibly be claiming that the mental load piece of toddlerhood is harder than adolescence.  Other parts of parenting toddlers are definitely harder, but ages 1 -4 is as easy as it gets from the mental load perspective, unless you choose to make work for yourself.

-- Mom of teens. [/quote]

The parents of teens have lost their minds. You gave a kid a ride to soccer and some money to buy food and had the rest of the day to yourself. Calling parenting teens mental load is a joke.

[/quote]

If only. It's a different type of mental load with higher stakes and less in your control.[/quote]

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