Reply to Making SAHM get job to pay for private school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, as is usual with interpersonal conflict, you will do a lot better for yourself if you can step back and try to see things from the other person's point of view.

It's really, really easy to say "oh your kids are in school, just go get a job." I thought this until the time came for me to "just go get a job." But after such a big mommy gap, I was looking at basically starting over in my career making 60K. And then because I would still be the primary parent it would be up to me to figure out childcare, transporting kids to sports events, etc. I couldn't anticipate any help at all from DH, and I cringed while imagining building a career from scratch (with my credentials) while still taking care of all the parenting.

I know this is done, and hats off to those who do it, but for us it just wasn't worth the stress. Luckily my husband is very supportive.

[b]I will go back to work when DH takes a less time-consuming job and can get the kids off to school in the morning, or make dinner, or take some time off to get a kid to an orthodontist appointment. He does well in his career because that's all he really has to think about, and I want something close to that before I restart mine[/b].

Also I used to be a die-hard "public schools are completely fine" until I saw what was happening thanks to quarantine. A "good" school means nothing except enough rich kids go there to keep test scores up. Public school curriculum in elementary typically based on theoretical educational theories that have absolutely no research to back them up. It's absurd. I do think my kids will be fine (they're in public) but if I saw them struggling at all I would see if I could go private for sure. Not so they could make a bunch of money when they grow up, but just so they could have a good childhood. [/quote]

This is ridiculous. Sorry, how do you think two working parents do it? Wait to start my career until that’s all I think of… ha! Ha! Ha! [/quote]

Well, I do think most working parents started careers before they had kids. And if one parent is working a ton, the other doesn’t usually start a new career at that point. Like I said, I know it’s done, but that kind of intensity just isn’t for me. [/quote]

We get it, you’re lazy.

Most private schools have after care until whenever you want, kids hanging out with their friends gardening and doing archery or what not. You don’t have to pick them up, and you can hire a college student to drive them if you want. I happen to be flexible and like so many people WAH now due to COVID so my partner and I do it ourselves. The idea that the kids need you is just an excuse because you don’t want to work or have a career. Kids after the age of 5 are not that difficult to juggle, and so many people do it.[/quote]

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