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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The suggestion that in 2021, you need a sahw to fully allow a man to fully succeed in his career.... ? What world do you ladies live in?  Is this what you tell yourselves to justify your set ups?

I'm a partner in big law. Yes, twenty years ago the male partners all had sahws.  Not any more.  I look around my immediate team, and the partners' wives are: counsel for a major corporation (probably making $400k), counsel for a smaller company (makes $240k), special needs therapist, medical research doctor running a fancy national research program, G15 type job at state department, trophy wife and trophy wife.  The two trophy wife guys are both in their 60s and close to retirement.  Everyone else is 40s and 50s.  These guys work a ton, but are all involved in their kids and outsource appropriately at home.  Having someone at home folding their underwear is not remotely a necessity for their professional success.  No matter what you tell yourself.

I'm sure posters will respond and say that we don't all make high salaries like that. But the whole point of your argument is that your staying home supports your husband's career trajectory. So I assume he's making at least $300k. Most men making that kind of income statistically are married to women with equal income potential.  You ladies just opted out.

Men making $200k a year rarely have sahws in hcol areas like dc.    Most families all across america have two working parents. No one needs a sahw.

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Whatever.  There are plenty of kids in the DMV with that scenario and they're doing drugs behind thier parents' backs and getting away with it because the parents are out of touch with their kids. I used to work for a consulting firm and the partners either had a stay at home parent (yes, parent, because now there are also many SAHDs), or they only had one kid - maybe two.  99% of the female partners only had one kid.  We all know that the parenting duties are exponential when number two comes along.  I really don't understand the money grubbing and need to shame others.  This in and of itself is shameful.[/quote]

Oh Christ that stupid argument again.  Yes all working parents are neglectful with druggie kids and after hours without parents.  Yeah - OK.  It’s 20-f-ing-21.  The work landscape has changed tremendously.  My husband and I BOTH work full-time from home.  So good luck kiddos - at least one parent is always hone.  He makes $400k.  I make $200k.  We both cook, carpool, alternate taking kids to dentist, doctor, etc. We have a cleaning lady.

Our kids have a ridiculous amount of time with us as soon as they walk in the door from school.

Frankly, the part-time working moms and WAH moms did all the chaperoning and class mom duties in elementary because they SAHMs had younger siblings they couldn’t leave at home without paid care.  It’s a fallacy that they did more.  Our PTA President was a working mom.  She was a dynamo.  Women that can work AND effectively parent tend to be more organized, ambitious and have more energy in general.
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Maybe it’s not working for you if you are so bitter and angry.   Maybe you wish you could be home more and not so stretched.  Why are you so triggered by women not working?

I am glad my mom worked.  She hated being a parent and like you bragged about all she did but in reality it was very little.   If you ask her she was super mom.   She was very different in reality.  I did the cooking and cleaning.  When I turned 16 she made me get a license to grocery shop and do her errands.   She bitterly complained about work.  And, very controlling with money.

I am so glad I am home as I have a really good relationship with my kids.  Me being home allows my husband to work and devote every evening and weekend to us.   He’s a great dad.     [/quote]

DP. I think you need to work out your issues with your mom. I'm sorry. That sounds hard.[/quote]

You cannot reason with the unreasonable.  She's hasn't been much of a mom to me in years, nor a grandma, the rare occasion I've needed her.  I got lucky and had a wonderful MIL who really loved me like her own.

Its great for women to work, if that's what they want and choose.  My mom hates the fact I'm home but has never once offered to help out in an emergency, including when I was hospitalized.  I'm really grateful for a husband who told me I have the choice and encouraged me to choose vs. being forced to work based off my families beliefs.  I hope other women are in the same position to choose.  I worked for years prior to having kids and I know what I'm missing.

Women demanding other women work, especially those with nannies, preschool, housekeepers, lawn services are very out of touch with most SAHM's and why they do it.  They should try working full time without a nanny and only having day care and still having to cook, clean, grocery shop (no delivery as you are on a budget), no lawn services and DIY the house and let us know how easy its to accomplish.

And, sadly, when we die, what we do for a living for most of us has very little impact and we are replaceable.  When we die, our legacy is our kids and how they turn out.  I care about raising good kids who will in term be good spouses and parents to their kids.  [/quote]

Gently, I think you still clearly have a lot to work out.[/quote]

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