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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Why do some men get married early?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think marrying late is a DC phenomena. I feel bad for people in their 40’s who have young children. It’s a great feeling to have an empty nest before you even hit 50.[/quote] Great point. It's also tons of being able to keep up with my teenage kids as we shoot hoops or do anything athletic. Both kids will be out of the house before I turn 47. Wouldn't change it AT ALL. Sure, missed out on some happy hours and trips in our late 20s and 30s. But the pay-off in the 40s was totally worth it[/quote] I am jealous of this, wish we had kids just a few years earlier.[/quote] Yeah, PP here who shoots hoops with his teenage kids. But I should be honest. There really was a trade-off. We had kids earlier in our career (mid 20s,), so we weren't making as much and money was tight. And there was a feeling sometimes of "missing out". We would see our childless friends go on couples trips that we had to decline because we either couldn't afford it (2 kids in diapers, amirite?), or couldn't find someone to watch 2 kids under 3 for 5 days. It really is a trade-off, and there's no "right answer". I'm sure the people that wait until their late 30s really value those memories of their childless 20s and early 30s. But now, as my kids are teens, and I'm only in my mid 40s, it's really great. But I won't act like it wasn't tough being the only family where the parents were 26 & 27, and trying to go a toddler music class in Bethesda, and everyone else was 10+ years older than us[/quote] This is the most reasonable post on the whole thread. Pros and cons to both, clearly[/quote] Yeah I feel this. We were 26/31 when we became parents, and we struggled mightily with finances (though we had tremendous family support, so we never suffered...we just worried and didn't accumulate wealth until later) and with making same-age/stage connections. It was physically easy being a young parent, and now that our kid is a young teen, we are very solid in our careers, saving at an excellent clip, living a life that is very nice, and enjoying not having to turn away from our careers to do the stuff you have to do when you have toddlers or kids in daycare. We can envision a really fulfilling empty nest lifestyle in our late 40s and we are optimistic that we will be able to support our kid as a young adult with their own family (if they choose to have one), both with time and money. If we'd had kids at 38 or 40, I'm sure there would have been tremendous advantages to that too, but there would have been multiple flip-side drawbacks. The grass is always greener. Or, you could reframe and realize you're just doing the best you can with what you have and if you're educated and employed and healthy, you're better off if you just make a good life at whatever stage you're in. [/quote]
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