Reply to How would you handle a 15 yo talking about getting a matching tattoo with a friend who is dying

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Reply to "How would you handle a 15 yo talking about getting a matching tattoo with a friend who is dying"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't allow it. I agree that a professional photo shoot or something like that is more appropriate. [/quote]

Same.  I would never allow a 15 year old to make this decision.  I like the photo shoot idea, jewelry or other ways to memorialize this friendship.[/quote]

But what YOU like isn’t what is meaningful for the kids. Part of adolescence is making your own choices and part of our job as parents is to allow them the freedom to do so. To appreciate that they are becoming independent people with feelings, likes, and desires that may doffer from our own. A small tattoo, while permanent isn’t in any way a life altering thing. The girls have told the OP what would be meaningful to THEM, she old enough to walk through this with her friend, she’s old enough to decide how to memorialize their relationship. Telling her that she may feel differently about this in the future will make her feel as if you don’t understand and respect her feelings. You can’t keep her from being hurt or sad but you can help her find the other side of this with her soul in tact and your relationship with her in tact. [/quote]

oh get real - I have looked back at pictures of when I was 15 and wonder why the heck my mother didn’t tell me my makeup looked awful or why she let me some outfits bc I looked really silly. 15 yr olds don’t have the best judgement bc they are 15 and not adults [/quote]

You missed the next sentence.  I think the cost/benefit in this situation is unique because of the context.  In almost any other situation, waiting until she’s 18 to get the tattoo won’t make a difference.  Here it does, and it’s important enough that I think you have to let her do it.

In general yes I’m a fan of giving teens some autonomy provided they’ve shown they’re responsible.  That doesn’t mean they can do absolutely anything they want.
Sure and then you turned 18 and magically made all wonderful life long hair and fashion choices. [/quote]

Everyone on here arguing not to let this girl do it seems like they’re the type of parents who power trip for no good reason. Yeah, sure we regulate lots of things for kids.  But [b]as long as you raise kids who are minimally responsible, maybe it’s good to try to find ways to allow them autonomy instead of controlling them for no good reason.[/b]  And in this particular instance, the tattoo is incredibly important to the daughter and the harm from it is negligible harm.  Telling her no just because she’s 15 and you’re an adult is a good way to alienate your child forever.[/quote]

By this logic you should allow tattoos regardless of the friend dying or for a much less significant reason. Do you think that?[/quote][/quote]

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