Reply to Friends who cannot seem to get away

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Reply to "Friends who cannot seem to get away - what gives?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This may be an unpopular post. I am not trying to be incendiary. But this has been burning my curiosity for a while, so here we go -- I truly want to understand.

I have a couple of friends who cannot seem to go out at night. They want to get together and text often and try to make plans during the day if they're working at home and kids are at daycare. But they cannot get out at night because it means leaving their kids home with their husband during dinner and bath.

I am genuinely curious: Why can't you leave your kids at home? Can't your spouse feed them and bathe them? What happens between the hours of 6-10 that is sacred?  Why won't you give yourself a break? It is straining a few friendships with women who seem tethered to a routine that stifles them. Why? [/quote]

Maybe they don’t consider going out with you in the evening “a break”.  Maybe they don’t consider their routines to be “stifling “.  I’m genuinely curious: Why, if you have friends who can make plans during the day, you’re so insistent on having them make plans in the evening?  6-10 is often the only time that the entire family can spend time together awake. For some that is pretty precious— and a priority over spending time with friends who could be flexible but apparently choose not to.

Have you ever offered to do kid-friendly activities?  If not, then maybe ask yourself why you’re comfortable straining friendships — insisting that your friends with family responsibilities conform to the demands and schedules of the friends who lack such responsibilities. 
[/quote]

I had a very similar reaction to the tone of this, PP.[/quote]

When did anybody say they won't do kid-friendly activities or that they were insisting that anyone conform to demands? Hyperbole! The fact is, many adults socialize in the evenings, after work. Many, in fact, choose to do it without their children. This isn't odd behavior. [/quote]

Apparently it is odd behavior to the people on this thread. I have to remind myself that the DC area has a disproportionate number of boring people. They would be appalled at the things I see friends in other parts of the country doing. Tons of adults only trips, music festivals, day long winery trips… All… Gasp!… without their very young kids. As a parent you’re gonna be tired no matter what. Might as well have some fun in the process.[/quote]

NP. Yes, everything is black and white, and there’s absolutely no gray area. It’s definitely all winery trips and music festivals for some, and sitting home knitting and frantically checking the crib for others. There’s no in between. It’s all “odd.”  :roll: [/quote]

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